Saturday, April 30, 2011

Pictures

When you are heavy, you don't take pictures. I have no pictures of myself on the day I started Crossfit. I know I should have taken some photos, but I had tried everything before and NOTHING worked. I didn't have a lot of faith it was going to work.

I hoped...but I didn't have this I AM GOING ALL THE WAY feeling that I have today. I am down 33 pounds of fat and have added 3.5 pounds of muscle. I still have about 60 to go. Let's monitor the rest of the journey with pictures, ok?

I'm pretty modest so I'm not going to be in my underwear in these photos. I'll try to catch some in my workout clothes - but they cover more than this outfit! Can you tell where I carry my weight?! LOL!!!



Friday, April 29, 2011

More Progress

Man, my body is really changing. I went to a conference two months ago and had a shirt that caught on my hips. It was supposed to be flowy and hippie...it was just HIPpie. I threw it back in the closet and ignored its existence - until this morning. I thought, "Hmm....maybe it is worth a shot today." It is flowy. No catching. It's not a knit shirt so there is no cheating with this shirt! Woo hoo!

Those moments feel SO good. They feel especially good because I know they are going to keep coming. I used to be so scared that I was going to revert back to my old ways and gain all the weight back. I don't feel that way anymore. I know I am going the distance. It may take me some time - but day by day, month by month, my body is transforming. I now look forward to the passage of time so I can enjoy even more changes.

I am right on the cusp of being squarely in regular sizes (my butt, hips and thighs are the hold outs). For those of you who have always been in regular sizes, you don't get this one. It is torture to be limited to the big ladies section of department stores or the occasional Lane Bryant. Although they have come a long way in styling their clothes, it is isolating and embarassing. Who wants to take their thin friend to the plus-size department? When you do, they pull out mumus and you think, "Wow, I really am that person...the one who could wear a mumu." When you go shopping with them, you just look for them because there is nothing there for you. They feel bad and so they rush and don't really enjoy themselves. Also, there are so many sales to be had and so much more selection when you hit the regular sizes. Oh how excited I am to get there and stay there!

One day at a time, one workout at a time, one meal at a time, one change at a time. We are doing this folks and it feels good. Really good.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Making Progress



My parents visited this weekend. It was the first time I had seen them since Christmas. I have lost a few pounds. They commented that I looked great and was doing so well. However, you can never be 100% sure if they are saying it because they know you are working on it or if they really see a difference.


My Mom and I went shopping - the universal mother/daughter bonding activity. I haven't shopped too much. Last time I went (in January), I wasn't down as much as I thought size-wise and I got discouraged. So, I haven't really pursued shopping lately. Mom wanted to go to Target. If there is one place where the clothes look HORRIBLE on me - it is Target. I wasn't super thrilled but I thought, "What the heck?!" I was shocked that I fit into so many things there now - and they looked good. I wasn't even the largest regular size. Woo hoo!!! We are definitely moving in the right direction!!!


Recently, I bought a new bathing suit. It will make its debut this weekend. If I am daring enough, I will take a picture and post it. AGGGH! Nightmare. Buying the suit itself was a huge step after ten years of avoiding a swimsuit at all costs. It has almost been a year and I want to ROCK a swimsuit, but I'm not there yet. This year I must be content in wearing one and not being embarassed.


I am rocking Crossfit this week. I am still modifying because of my back but putting in full effort and feeling worked over by the time I leave. It's a good feeling! Keep at it, folks. Keep at it! Sustained effort in the same direction over a long period of time will yield results!

Saturday, April 16, 2011

There's An Avocado in My Shake!

I love when a friend knows you are 'healthy' and sends you a great recipe. I wouldn't necessarily call this recipe healthy on its own with 2 TBSP of sugar and milk...but it has the bones of a good recipe....one I can make Paleo. It is a Chocolate Avocado Shake. It is from Skinny Chef. Here is my modified recipe: 1 1/2 cups of almond milk 1 tsp vanilla extract 1 1/2 TBSP cocoa powder 5-8 drops of liquid Stevia (this is to your taste..use powder if you like it) 1/2 avocado dash of cinnamon 4-5 ice cubes Throw it in the blender and WHIRRRRR it up. Make sure you add some protein on the side - no protein in this bad boy...and you know we need the for our muscles (said like Popeye).

Monday, April 11, 2011

Thai Green Curry


Why do I struggle so much with eating well? I don't feel good when I eat a cookie or stop at Chick-fil-A, but I still do it way too regularly. Some of it is just not having good food prepared and being in a rush. A part of it is the growing boredom I have with the food I'm eating. Protein, a veg and fruit can get old. I enjoy it and it makes me feel good but it still doesn't give me the pleasure of a burrito smothered in queso and a margarita. There are so many crazy dynamics to eating.


This weekend I decided to try a recipe for Green Thai Curry from Everyday Paleo. It was delicious...but I did have to add some extra fish sauce and coconut aminos. It isn't quite as flavorful as what I get from the Thai restaurant...it's a bit like making Mexican at home...good but not quite the same.


Regardless..this is quick, makes a huge pot and packs in tons of protein and veggies. I'm suspicious I'm retaining some fluid after the sodium hike..but c'est la vie.


Give it a try...and once you have the Thai ingredients, you can make it again for next to nothing.


Friday, April 8, 2011

Wall Ball....


Saving the world...one wall ball at a time!

Thursday, April 7, 2011

There's No Crying in Crossfit

I had a BIG baby move in Crossfit today. I have been there 9 months and have yet to try a pull-up - assisted or otherwise. We were waiting for my weight to drop. Try pulling up 255 pounds. Not an easy task. Wel, now that I am at 220 pounds, my trainer wanted to see if I could do it with a black band. No lie, I was excited. It felt like some sort of a vote of confidence that maybe, just maybe I had improved to the point of a pull up. Realistically, I think he's struggling with things for me to do with my whacked out back. So, where did the baby part come in? I finally got my foot in the band and I was scared to drop down off the box - to hang there before pulling up. I was on the low bar so I was MAYBE two feet from the ground. WHAT IN THE WORLD?! When I finally did it, it was no big deal. Oh, don't get me wrong, I could not pull myself back up...but it wasn't scary. Why was I scared? That, my friends, is the legacy of being fat and honestly something that I think holds a lot of heavy people back from trying new things. I have never been able to hoist myself up because I always weighed much more than my feeble body could carry. It is that moment of 'I am going to do something that is going to horribly embarass me and further highlight that I'm the fat kid here.' There is also the element of 'I am going to hurt myself because I am going to plummet to the ground like a lead balloon'. Crossfit is probably the first place that I have been given encouragement to overcome that mindset. My favorite moment was when I said I was scared and Jason said, "At least you aren't being shot at right now." Talk about perspective folks. I responded, "Frankly, that might help right now." I was thinking that if someone was shooting, no one would be paying attention to the fat girl about to fall off the pull up bar. Jason is honestly the first person who has understood that not being able to do something isn't just laziness. It is an actual issue of moving that amount of weight without the proper conditioning/preparation. I'm not sure my body will ever be able to pull up 220 pounds. I am going to need to lose more body weight while I simulataneously train my muscles. It will be a combination of the two that will get me there. I moved over to the rings and used some leg assistance to start the pull up motion. I had been doing ring pulls and I'm pretty sure that part of my back is STRONG. Now, I need to work on the part that is engaged in the pull up motion. It'll take work but I'll get there. It's just like the push up. I couldn't do a push up to save my life when I started (knees, no knees, anything) and I have been able to do three real push ups - man push ups. Anything is possible with perseverance!

Sunday, April 3, 2011

The Many Faces of Eggs


Eggs are still making my skin crawl. This had BETTER change. I eat a lot of eggs and I can't be grossed out by them indefinitely. This morning I thought that maybe hard boiled eggs would do the trick. They were MUCH easier to get down and may be my go-to egg until I feel 100%, again.


The question now becomes whether or not I am back to Crossfit in the morning. My energy level is still at about 65% but I'm not sure if it is that inactivity begets fatique or what. We'll see how I feel at 5:15 a.m.


Saturday, April 2, 2011

Hungry for Nuffin

Day 8 of this bug and still no appetite. I walked through the Farmer's Market and NOTHING caught my eye. Not a bread. Not a cookie. Not a cheese. Not a meat. Not a veggie. Not a fruit. Nothing. Yesterday I had Wendy's for lunch. Do you know that is the ONLY thing I have eaten that tasted good to me all week? Igggh. I refuse to live off fast food so I'm ignoring that it tasted good and moving back into the land of clean eating. I am hungry. Legitimately hungry. Nothing appeals to me. So, what do I eat? Healthy food. If nothing appeals to you, you might as well keep it healthy, right? At least that way your body is using the food to heal you. Breakfast today was 24 raw almonds and 1/2 a bottle of kefir. I bought it for the probiotics before I realized the antibiotic would be killing all bacteria..thereby completely eliminating the probiotic. Still, I had it in the house and thought it might be soothing. Not so much. Lunch was some beef brisket from Whole Foods, 1/2 of an organic red bell pepper, 1 banana and about 10 barbeque potato chips. I have some grassfed beef thawing for a hamburger for dinner. That actually does sound ok to me. We'll see how my stomach reacts. A couple of weeks ago I gained 8 pounds for no reason. I've lost those 8 plus 5 more. Who knows where I'll land. My hope is to make my goal of leaving the 200s before my 38th birthday. We'll see. I do miss Crossfit but the fact that I'm beyond exhausted from walking through the grocery store tells me that I'm not ready to head back quite yet. I hate missing it. I better not be losing muscle. Perhaps this time off will be what my back needs to completely heal. Perhaps this is the bug that solves all things!