Well, after six months of going up and down the same five pounds, I am back at it. I wish I was one of those people who dropped 100 pounds in a year. It looks like it will be 3 years! Oh well, I am heading in the right direction.
I keep going in a cycle. I eat strict Paleo, feel fantastic, and then start giving in to little treats here in there. Before I know it, I am totally off Paleo, gaining weight and feeling AWFUL. This really is self-abuse and I am looking at the root cause of what I am doing. I want off this carousel.
I feel the fit girl inside of me. Despite being stuck weight-wise, I go to CrossFit 3-4 times a week without fail. I feel the muscle. It is there. I am strong. My cardio is a lot better. With the last 60 pounds gone, I will be unstoppable. But, I HAVE TO GET THE WEIGHT OFF.
So, I am going to blog and hopefully you can help me get through those valleys.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Months away
Well, I haven't really blogged in months. Work has been busy. CrossFit has continued, but my diet has been soft. I am staying within a 5 pound range, but I don't like it. I am ready to complete the weight loss portion of this journey.
Honestly, not eating the proper diet and CrossFitting is really frustrating. It just feels like you are beating your body up. You don't recover as quickly. You don't gain strength as quickly. You don't see results.
I am not an inherently athletic person. Let me rephrase that. I hate almost all physical activity. If I had my druthers, I would sit on my keister all day long and watch TV and eat lavish meals with people. That is the true Bethany. However, that lifestyle makes me feel like dog poo. My back hurts. I quickly gain weight. I don't feel good about myself.
So, I CrossFit and eat Paleo (and I am talking ideally right now) because of how it makes me feel. I love the people, too. I love the feeling of accomplishment. I love seeing my body change. I love being able to walk uphill and up stairs with no problems. I like fitting in airline seats. I like being able to look in the mirror at the hair dressers without going into a major funk. I like the results of being athletic. I just don't like the actual activity. There is a point in every workout when I think, "I really don't like this, I should quit and do something I like."
However, nothing else gave me these results. Not the elipitical or treadmill or body pump or zumba. So, I continue and pray that when I get to my goal I will hit a "CrossFitters high" where all the pain and huffing and puffing will feel amazing. It could happen.
So, I am writing this now because the New Year is two weeks away. I will start blogging, again. I will take more pictures. I will journal the last half of this transformation. I'm ready for it. I feel that focus kicking back in. Let's do this!
Honestly, not eating the proper diet and CrossFitting is really frustrating. It just feels like you are beating your body up. You don't recover as quickly. You don't gain strength as quickly. You don't see results.
I am not an inherently athletic person. Let me rephrase that. I hate almost all physical activity. If I had my druthers, I would sit on my keister all day long and watch TV and eat lavish meals with people. That is the true Bethany. However, that lifestyle makes me feel like dog poo. My back hurts. I quickly gain weight. I don't feel good about myself.
So, I CrossFit and eat Paleo (and I am talking ideally right now) because of how it makes me feel. I love the people, too. I love the feeling of accomplishment. I love seeing my body change. I love being able to walk uphill and up stairs with no problems. I like fitting in airline seats. I like being able to look in the mirror at the hair dressers without going into a major funk. I like the results of being athletic. I just don't like the actual activity. There is a point in every workout when I think, "I really don't like this, I should quit and do something I like."
However, nothing else gave me these results. Not the elipitical or treadmill or body pump or zumba. So, I continue and pray that when I get to my goal I will hit a "CrossFitters high" where all the pain and huffing and puffing will feel amazing. It could happen.
So, I am writing this now because the New Year is two weeks away. I will start blogging, again. I will take more pictures. I will journal the last half of this transformation. I'm ready for it. I feel that focus kicking back in. Let's do this!
Thursday, August 25, 2011
No More Scale!
I am giving my scale to a friend so that I will stay off of it for the next seven weeks. I am doing a Paleo challenge with the gym and I find myself on it morning, noon and night. I won't lie, even when I am not on a challenge I am on it every morning.
Unfortunately, the scale is once again dictating my worth for the day. I hate it. If I am up a pound, I am defeated. If I am down a pound, I am elated. One or two pounds can change how I feel about myself for the day. This is ridiculous. Sure, the scale needs to continue to head in the right direction and it can be a gauge to let me know if I am fueling properly to reach my goals, but it should be a long term gauge - not a daily gauge.
I have these weird mind games I play. If I am really good at work, I come home and weigh. If I am down below where I was in the morning, I eat a little bit more than I normally would have - like extra nuts or some coconut ice cream. If I am up, I don't let myself have those things. It's very dysfunctional. I have long term goals. It is taking a long time to reach them, but I am fairly sure it is taking longer because of this behavior.
I live a really balanced life now and my body is responding, but this scale thing is the last thing that is "weighing me down". If I am eating healthy and exercising, I should only really need to weigh once a month to make sure I am on track. This is forever, not just an 8 week diet.
Ok, I had to get that out!
Unfortunately, the scale is once again dictating my worth for the day. I hate it. If I am up a pound, I am defeated. If I am down a pound, I am elated. One or two pounds can change how I feel about myself for the day. This is ridiculous. Sure, the scale needs to continue to head in the right direction and it can be a gauge to let me know if I am fueling properly to reach my goals, but it should be a long term gauge - not a daily gauge.
I have these weird mind games I play. If I am really good at work, I come home and weigh. If I am down below where I was in the morning, I eat a little bit more than I normally would have - like extra nuts or some coconut ice cream. If I am up, I don't let myself have those things. It's very dysfunctional. I have long term goals. It is taking a long time to reach them, but I am fairly sure it is taking longer because of this behavior.
I live a really balanced life now and my body is responding, but this scale thing is the last thing that is "weighing me down". If I am eating healthy and exercising, I should only really need to weigh once a month to make sure I am on track. This is forever, not just an 8 week diet.
Ok, I had to get that out!
Sunday, August 7, 2011
The Boo-TAY Shots
Yea, so..these shots were taken a couple of months apart...not sure if I see a difference..what is the DEAL with the hips?! Come on body, start burning some fat from that area.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
One-der Land
All I want right now is to get out of the 200s weight wise. Forget the Crossfit fitness standards - I want my frickin' weight below 200. Only 14 pounds to go. I can DO this. I can DO this.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Everyday Paleo
Please ignore the hot and sweaty look. What I would like you to notice is the SPAGHETTI STRAP dress. Stop eating spaghetti and wear it instead! If you had said I would dare wear one of these a year ago, I would have said, "Yeah, right." But, there I am. You can't see much in this picture, but it is proof.
I am going to start to post more pictures. I still have a hard time with pictures because I still have it hard wired to avoid cameras. It is hard to have a blog with just a few pictures - BORING! Here is another one from a Paleo night at Crossfit (I'm in the middle with the tank top):
I am continuing this journey, but it is also with the help of some incredible resources. One of these is Everyday Paleo (www.everydaypaleo.com). When I thought I might die of the boredom of grilled protein, veg and a tiny amount of fruit, in came Sarah's amazing recipes. They have been a lifesaver because this foodie wouldn't have lasted long without some variety.
I have tried the Marvelous Meatballs (and my Crossfit owner wants to pay me to make these for him they are so good)...the Speedy Peppers...the Thai Curry dish...all are good. Take a gander when you get a minute.
Continuing on this journey....
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Paleo Challenge
I am almost done with a 48 day Paleo Challenge. I haven't been perfect. I had my birthday and the 4th of July in there...and frankly, life happened.
I was powering through and now the scale is going up/down/up/down. Agggh! I am happy I have made progress...but I really need to say no to all socializing and meals out to really get some good momentum..However, I am not sure I want to live my life that way - at home, monitoring my food intake all the time.
I so want to be at my goal, but sometimes I get so bored with the life it will take to get me there. I wish I had someone living with me who was doing this with me- that would make it more fun and would help with the socializing element. Maybe I can charge rent and take in a person who wants to do a 30 day Paleo challenge. I will cook and they can pay for their food and rent for a month..it will be like the Biggest Loser ranch...only the Paleo ranch. That sounds like fun!
I was powering through and now the scale is going up/down/up/down. Agggh! I am happy I have made progress...but I really need to say no to all socializing and meals out to really get some good momentum..However, I am not sure I want to live my life that way - at home, monitoring my food intake all the time.
I so want to be at my goal, but sometimes I get so bored with the life it will take to get me there. I wish I had someone living with me who was doing this with me- that would make it more fun and would help with the socializing element. Maybe I can charge rent and take in a person who wants to do a 30 day Paleo challenge. I will cook and they can pay for their food and rent for a month..it will be like the Biggest Loser ranch...only the Paleo ranch. That sounds like fun!
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