(Look over there - my name made the board - even if you do a modified workout, you make the board!)
*****
Can you be 36 years old and still feel like the fat kid in gym class? Absolutely. It happened to me this week when I walked into Crossfit for the first time. Thankfully, the feeling subsided quickly as I was met by a group of encouraging people who are focused on one goal: trouncing the Workout of the Day…and sometimes trouncing is simply completing it. After the first day, I realized I had just one goal: surviving the warm-up. We all have to start somewhere, right?
Thankfully, I quickly remembered that I signed up for this. The state didn’t mandate it. My mother couldn’t sign me out of it. I already know who I am in life and it isn’t an insecure 13 year-old with her last name on her gym shorts. I am a confident 36 year-old woman who is ready to reclaim her abused and neglected body. The gym teacher is no longer an old high school athlete who feels better by making fat kids feel worthless. My Crossfit owner, Jason, is a guy who is for me and my fitness – and he’s going to be in that gym to see it through- one workout at a time.
The ‘other kids’ are on the same journey – although most are further down the road. Every once in a while, one stops, looks and says, “I was back there once. You can do this. Keep it up!” So I do. I push through the pain I feel in carrying 100 extra pounds. I push through the shame I feel at finishing a modified Helen in 20:30. I push through the frustration that I couldn’t walk for 3 days after doing a highly modified version of the Workout of the Day. I push through the fatigue to try one more set. I chose this. I can do this. Even when I don’t believe it, there are other people on the road to remind me that I can.
Was I the fat kid in gym class this week? Yes, but it was a different class entirely – one that reminds me that I have to start somewhere. Thankfully, what I do today impacts who I am tomorrow and one day I won’t be the fat kid in gym class anymore. I will be an athlete. When I am, I will stop, turn around, and look the person behind me in the eye and say, “I was back there once. You can do this. Keep it up!”
Thankfully, I quickly remembered that I signed up for this. The state didn’t mandate it. My mother couldn’t sign me out of it. I already know who I am in life and it isn’t an insecure 13 year-old with her last name on her gym shorts. I am a confident 36 year-old woman who is ready to reclaim her abused and neglected body. The gym teacher is no longer an old high school athlete who feels better by making fat kids feel worthless. My Crossfit owner, Jason, is a guy who is for me and my fitness – and he’s going to be in that gym to see it through- one workout at a time.
The ‘other kids’ are on the same journey – although most are further down the road. Every once in a while, one stops, looks and says, “I was back there once. You can do this. Keep it up!” So I do. I push through the pain I feel in carrying 100 extra pounds. I push through the shame I feel at finishing a modified Helen in 20:30. I push through the frustration that I couldn’t walk for 3 days after doing a highly modified version of the Workout of the Day. I push through the fatigue to try one more set. I chose this. I can do this. Even when I don’t believe it, there are other people on the road to remind me that I can.
Was I the fat kid in gym class this week? Yes, but it was a different class entirely – one that reminds me that I have to start somewhere. Thankfully, what I do today impacts who I am tomorrow and one day I won’t be the fat kid in gym class anymore. I will be an athlete. When I am, I will stop, turn around, and look the person behind me in the eye and say, “I was back there once. You can do this. Keep it up!”
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