Sunday, December 18, 2011

Months away

Well, I haven't really blogged in months. Work has been busy. CrossFit has continued, but my diet has been soft. I am staying within a 5 pound range, but I don't like it. I am ready to complete the weight loss portion of this journey.

Honestly, not eating the proper diet and CrossFitting is really frustrating. It just feels like you are beating your body up. You don't recover as quickly. You don't gain strength as quickly. You don't see results.

I am not an inherently athletic person. Let me rephrase that. I hate almost all physical activity. If I had my druthers, I would sit on my keister all day long and watch TV and eat lavish meals with people. That is the true Bethany. However, that lifestyle makes me feel like dog poo. My back hurts. I quickly gain weight. I don't feel good about myself.

So, I CrossFit and eat Paleo (and I am talking ideally right now) because of how it makes me feel. I love the people, too. I love the feeling of accomplishment. I love seeing my body change. I love being able to walk uphill and up stairs with no problems. I like fitting in airline seats. I like being able to look in the mirror at the hair dressers without going into a major funk. I like the results of being athletic. I just don't like the actual activity. There is a point in every workout when I think, "I really don't like this, I should quit and do something I like."

However, nothing else gave me these results. Not the elipitical or treadmill or body pump or zumba. So, I continue and pray that when I get to my goal I will hit a "CrossFitters high" where all the pain and huffing and puffing will feel amazing. It could happen.

So, I am writing this now because the New Year is two weeks away. I will start blogging, again. I will take more pictures. I will journal the last half of this transformation. I'm ready for it. I feel that focus kicking back in. Let's do this!

Thursday, August 25, 2011

No More Scale!

I am giving my scale to a friend so that I will stay off of it for the next seven weeks. I am doing a Paleo challenge with the gym and I find myself on it morning, noon and night. I won't lie, even when I am not on a challenge I am on it every morning.

Unfortunately, the scale is once again dictating my worth for the day. I hate it. If I am up a pound, I am defeated. If I am down a pound, I am elated. One or two pounds can change how I feel about myself for the day. This is ridiculous. Sure, the scale needs to continue to head in the right direction and it can be a gauge to let me know if I am fueling properly to reach my goals, but it should be a long term gauge - not a daily gauge.

I have these weird mind games I play. If I am really good at work, I come home and weigh. If I am down below where I was in the morning, I eat a little bit more than I normally would have - like extra nuts or some coconut ice cream. If I am up, I don't let myself have those things. It's very dysfunctional. I have long term goals. It is taking a long time to reach them, but I am fairly sure it is taking longer because of this behavior.

I live a really balanced life now and my body is responding, but this scale thing is the last thing that is "weighing me down". If I am eating healthy and exercising, I should only really need to weigh once a month to make sure I am on track. This is forever, not just an 8 week diet.

Ok, I had to get that out!

Sunday, August 7, 2011

The Boo-TAY Shots

Yea, so..these shots were taken a couple of months apart...not sure if I see a difference..what is the DEAL with the hips?! Come on body, start burning some fat from that area.







Tuesday, August 2, 2011

One-der Land

All I want right now is to get out of the 200s weight wise. Forget the Crossfit fitness standards - I want my frickin' weight below 200. Only 14 pounds to go. I can DO this. I can DO this.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Everyday Paleo




Please ignore the hot and sweaty look. What I would like you to notice is the SPAGHETTI STRAP dress. Stop eating spaghetti and wear it instead! If you had said I would dare wear one of these a year ago, I would have said, "Yeah, right." But, there I am. You can't see much in this picture, but it is proof.


I am going to start to post more pictures. I still have a hard time with pictures because I still have it hard wired to avoid cameras. It is hard to have a blog with just a few pictures - BORING! Here is another one from a Paleo night at Crossfit (I'm in the middle with the tank top):



I am continuing this journey, but it is also with the help of some incredible resources. One of these is Everyday Paleo (www.everydaypaleo.com). When I thought I might die of the boredom of grilled protein, veg and a tiny amount of fruit, in came Sarah's amazing recipes. They have been a lifesaver because this foodie wouldn't have lasted long without some variety.


I have tried the Marvelous Meatballs (and my Crossfit owner wants to pay me to make these for him they are so good)...the Speedy Peppers...the Thai Curry dish...all are good. Take a gander when you get a minute.


Continuing on this journey....


Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Paleo Challenge

I am almost done with a 48 day Paleo Challenge. I haven't been perfect. I had my birthday and the 4th of July in there...and frankly, life happened.

I was powering through and now the scale is going up/down/up/down. Agggh! I am happy I have made progress...but I really need to say no to all socializing and meals out to really get some good momentum..However, I am not sure I want to live my life that way - at home, monitoring my food intake all the time.

I so want to be at my goal, but sometimes I get so bored with the life it will take to get me there. I wish I had someone living with me who was doing this with me- that would make it more fun and would help with the socializing element. Maybe I can charge rent and take in a person who wants to do a 30 day Paleo challenge. I will cook and they can pay for their food and rent for a month..it will be like the Biggest Loser ranch...only the Paleo ranch. That sounds like fun!

Monday, June 20, 2011

Strange Phase

I am in a super strange phase. I am interested to hear if other people go through this phase when losing a lot of weight. I am in that phase where everything is off. My arms have a bit of definition, tons of muscle below the fat, and still a layer of fat on top. As I lose, it goes from strange places so I look lumpy. It isn't that I looked better with more weight on...it was just that my skin was smoother - now it is strange and lumpy. Some of the lumps are muscles and some are where the fat has vacated and the body has yet to refine.

Everything just feels off. I have no sense of my body anymore. It's great to go shopping, but it is also hard. What looked good at one time really doesn't look that great anymore. I have no concept of what size I am. I look for XXL in the regular sizes when I am actually a large. Clothes that show my form (not obscenely, but are more fitted) shock me. They feel odd. Pieces of clothing that never got too big (like underwear, slips, etc...) are now too big. My glasses don't look right anymore and my hairstyle is off. Everything is changing and it is both fun and exciting, but also just plain weird. I never really thought of how it would REALLY feel to change.

I don't think I look that much different, but I am on the edge of becoming a completely different person physically. Fit. Toned. Confident. After a year of Crossfit, I know that is who I am mentally and it is fun to see the body catching up with it. I can't wait to leave the 200s for good. I am hoping with this challenge that I can be out of them by the end of Summer. Once I break that barrier, I will be sliding downhill to goal...

It's funny...it's like lifting. If you count up all the weight everytime you add weight, you psych yourself out. Instead, just add 5 or 10 pounds depending on how the previous weight felt and let the chips fall where they may. It's the same with the weight loss. I had to stop focusing on my final goal months ago. Now it is just the 5 or 10 pounds I am on - and then I can look back and say, "WOW! I lost 100 pounds." Oh yes, I also want to hit 50 pounds because my sister will the come visit me and take me shopping! YAHOOOO!!!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Year over Year Comparison

Here I am deadlifting last year in June....



Here I am deadlifting today.


The angles are different so it is really hard to tell a difference....I obviously like blue shirts...and the angle is like at hip level on the second one...I need a do over shot!


I Am Still Here!!!

Don't worry, I haven't fallen off the wagon or the face of the earth. This is just a CRAZY time for me - June every year is off the charts busy. I am on a 42 day Paleo challenge with my friends from Crossfit. It is so much better when other people are involved. I am still at 220 exactly. I hope this is the week I break through that number and start the downward decline out of the 200s. My eating is tight. My workouts are intense and I am ready to see some results.

Tonight my Crossfit celebrates 2 years in business. They are booming now. Why? It works! It really, really works. In honor of the anniversary, we are having a Paleo cook out. Should be a lot of fun. I am looking forward to some time to socialize with these folks. They are people who I really enjoy. My only regret with Crossfit is this- I waited so long to try it out!

Sure, every single day I have that, "Oh goodness, what are they going to throw at me? Why did I pay to do this? I'm going to die" feeling...but I don't die - I do it and I move on with my day. I accomplish more mentally and physically before 7 than I ever have before.

Last night I watched a DVR'd episode of Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition. I love that they follow them for a year, but am still not a fan of the excessive cardio they do. Regardless, I love hearing the trainer talk to them. Last night's makeover recipient was sexually abused. He said, "You need to stop punishing yourself for something that wasn't your fault. That is what you are doing everytime you eat." He also addressed the crap food in the house he kept bringing back in (I tend to do this with one item each shopping trip). He said, "This food created the prison you are now living in. It is the ENEMY. Why would you let it back in your home?" WOW! I do have to say that not having something bad in my house definitely keeps me from eating it.

I will try to get some more pictures up soon!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

It Works, It REALLY Works

I cannot tell you how great it feels to see results. Real results. Hardcore results. Like my butt. It used to be a shelf and now there is a soft slope from my back into my butt and from my butt into my thighs. WHAT?! My butt has shrunk so much that my stomach now looks big. Come on body, start taking from the hips and stomach. YOU CAN DO IT!!!

No, really, the changes are amazing. I love Crossfit. It feels like a miracle and that is just because I have amnesia about all the hard work!

If you have a chance to join Crossfit. DO IT! Really do it. Commit long term. You will see changes you won't believe!

Monday, May 23, 2011

Last week

This blog needs to be honest. Last week STUNK diet-wise. I tell you what. I could not control my eating to save my life. I had no idea what was going on. Finally, I stopped and said, "Girl, what is eating at you that is making you eat so much?" I figured it out, took it to the Lord, and now I am lighter and back on track with my healthy eating.

What does 'off track' look like for me? Not good. I had Mexican three times with queso each time. One time I had two beers. I had pizza for lunch one day. I had a sub and chips for lunch one day. I had Coke about four times. If I am drinking Coke, there is something SERIOUSLY wrong with me. I am not a soda drinker. This weight is not from drinking calories. I topped it all off with a day at the movies where I had a whole box of Milk Duds, half of a Butterfinger, half of a sugar cookie, and then went to barbeque where I had two muffins, four ribs, french fries, and cinnamon apples. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I'm all for grabbing some Mexican once a week, but how in the world does one expect to get fit eating that crap?! By the way, now I don't need to ask, "Why couldn't I sleep and why did I get a migraine on Friday?" Um....who could sleep with all that sugar in their system and what body wouldn't rebel after eating so clean and then getting a dump of toxins.

I got back on track yesterday and I only gained one pound over the week of horror. I didn't tell my trainer how off track I was last week, but I did ask him to join me at the grocery store to make sure I stayed on track. He got my cart loaded up with Paleo goodness and I cleaned all offenders out of my house and we are ready to go. Have I mentioned that I love my trainer. It's serious trainer love. He completes my training. For reals.

Alright..I hope to start posting some new successes on the board. Here we go, AGAIN!

Sunday, May 22, 2011

The Sled Drag




She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes. Instead of driving six white horses, she'll be dragging the sled when she comes! Nothing like action photos to make you realize how much farther you have to go. I definitely feel smaller in my mind than I look (as evidenced in a few photos I just received). Onward and upward.




On a positive note, I just bought a bunch of t-shirts from Old Navy in a large. I wasn't able to wear their regular sizes at all last year. That's an encouragement. I needed cheap t-shirts.




Ok, off to clean a room and grocery shop. Operation Slim Down continues.

Friday, May 13, 2011

STRESS...and food

This last week I have been so up and down with my eating. I am pretty much exactly where I was a week ago. That's fine overall, but I really want to lose weight. I can't do the super tight Paleo. When I do, I start eating huge portions of meat. It's all very strange. So, I have started using my WW tracking software to help control my portions.

I am under a lot of stress right now. My boss changed at work. My workload is exponentially increasing as he comes up with new projects. Finances have been particularly tight. Days packed with emotional memories have surrounded me. It's just a lot to take in and my coping mechanism has always been eating. I am doing 4,000 times better than I would have 5 years ago..but still, there is a small part of me left that says, "I feel so crappy that I just want to have a little joy and ice cream/queso/whatever horrible food for me brings that momentary release."

That's how temptation is, isn't it? For a moment it seems to relieve the pain. There is a moment of joy, but then there are the consequences. A friend of mine says, "Future Chris is not going to like this." If we could just stop in the moment and think through what brings ultimate joy, how much better would we feel physically?

Right now, I really want a margarita (or 5), cheese dip and chips and a big, sloppy burrito. But I won't.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Yea, so...

The first five days of the challenge did no go so well. So, starting over tomorrow. AGGGH! Why this so hard?

Here we go, again!

Otherwise, all is well.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Paleo Challenge: Day 1

Day 1 Stats

Weight: 222 lbs UGH!

Wake-up

Crossfit
Bench Press 5x5 - 85 pounds

WOD (my version)
7 Pull ups
15 Chest Press (20 lb dumbbell)
8 Abmat Sit ups
35 Jump Ropes
100 m sprint
AMRAP 20 minutes - 5 rounds/30 reps

Breakfast
3 eggs
2 strips of Applegate Farms bacon
1 cup of steamed broccoli
1 banana
Probiotic/hormone support/Vitamin D

Lunch
Chicken/sausage/shrimp
2 cups of salad
20 macadamia nuts

Dinner
Protein shake (2 scoops Energy First, 8-12 ounces almond milk, fruit of some kind/ice -1 TBSP Coconut oil)
Broccoli

Paleo Challenge: Day 1

Well, I am going to do it. I want to scream, but I am going to do it. Today is Day 1 of a 30 day Paleo challenge. No cheats. No compromises. I'm still on the fence about dairy but pretty on track with everything else.

We have the pictures below and my starting weight is 222. I'm stuck between 220 and 222. Let's see if we can get out of the 210s in this challenge. Woo hoo! I will be SO happy when the 200s are just a faint memory. Here we go. Will write more on what I eat later.

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Pictures

When you are heavy, you don't take pictures. I have no pictures of myself on the day I started Crossfit. I know I should have taken some photos, but I had tried everything before and NOTHING worked. I didn't have a lot of faith it was going to work.

I hoped...but I didn't have this I AM GOING ALL THE WAY feeling that I have today. I am down 33 pounds of fat and have added 3.5 pounds of muscle. I still have about 60 to go. Let's monitor the rest of the journey with pictures, ok?

I'm pretty modest so I'm not going to be in my underwear in these photos. I'll try to catch some in my workout clothes - but they cover more than this outfit! Can you tell where I carry my weight?! LOL!!!



Friday, April 29, 2011

More Progress

Man, my body is really changing. I went to a conference two months ago and had a shirt that caught on my hips. It was supposed to be flowy and hippie...it was just HIPpie. I threw it back in the closet and ignored its existence - until this morning. I thought, "Hmm....maybe it is worth a shot today." It is flowy. No catching. It's not a knit shirt so there is no cheating with this shirt! Woo hoo!

Those moments feel SO good. They feel especially good because I know they are going to keep coming. I used to be so scared that I was going to revert back to my old ways and gain all the weight back. I don't feel that way anymore. I know I am going the distance. It may take me some time - but day by day, month by month, my body is transforming. I now look forward to the passage of time so I can enjoy even more changes.

I am right on the cusp of being squarely in regular sizes (my butt, hips and thighs are the hold outs). For those of you who have always been in regular sizes, you don't get this one. It is torture to be limited to the big ladies section of department stores or the occasional Lane Bryant. Although they have come a long way in styling their clothes, it is isolating and embarassing. Who wants to take their thin friend to the plus-size department? When you do, they pull out mumus and you think, "Wow, I really am that person...the one who could wear a mumu." When you go shopping with them, you just look for them because there is nothing there for you. They feel bad and so they rush and don't really enjoy themselves. Also, there are so many sales to be had and so much more selection when you hit the regular sizes. Oh how excited I am to get there and stay there!

One day at a time, one workout at a time, one meal at a time, one change at a time. We are doing this folks and it feels good. Really good.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Making Progress



My parents visited this weekend. It was the first time I had seen them since Christmas. I have lost a few pounds. They commented that I looked great and was doing so well. However, you can never be 100% sure if they are saying it because they know you are working on it or if they really see a difference.


My Mom and I went shopping - the universal mother/daughter bonding activity. I haven't shopped too much. Last time I went (in January), I wasn't down as much as I thought size-wise and I got discouraged. So, I haven't really pursued shopping lately. Mom wanted to go to Target. If there is one place where the clothes look HORRIBLE on me - it is Target. I wasn't super thrilled but I thought, "What the heck?!" I was shocked that I fit into so many things there now - and they looked good. I wasn't even the largest regular size. Woo hoo!!! We are definitely moving in the right direction!!!


Recently, I bought a new bathing suit. It will make its debut this weekend. If I am daring enough, I will take a picture and post it. AGGGH! Nightmare. Buying the suit itself was a huge step after ten years of avoiding a swimsuit at all costs. It has almost been a year and I want to ROCK a swimsuit, but I'm not there yet. This year I must be content in wearing one and not being embarassed.


I am rocking Crossfit this week. I am still modifying because of my back but putting in full effort and feeling worked over by the time I leave. It's a good feeling! Keep at it, folks. Keep at it! Sustained effort in the same direction over a long period of time will yield results!

Saturday, April 16, 2011

There's An Avocado in My Shake!

I love when a friend knows you are 'healthy' and sends you a great recipe. I wouldn't necessarily call this recipe healthy on its own with 2 TBSP of sugar and milk...but it has the bones of a good recipe....one I can make Paleo. It is a Chocolate Avocado Shake. It is from Skinny Chef. Here is my modified recipe: 1 1/2 cups of almond milk 1 tsp vanilla extract 1 1/2 TBSP cocoa powder 5-8 drops of liquid Stevia (this is to your taste..use powder if you like it) 1/2 avocado dash of cinnamon 4-5 ice cubes Throw it in the blender and WHIRRRRR it up. Make sure you add some protein on the side - no protein in this bad boy...and you know we need the for our muscles (said like Popeye).

Monday, April 11, 2011

Thai Green Curry


Why do I struggle so much with eating well? I don't feel good when I eat a cookie or stop at Chick-fil-A, but I still do it way too regularly. Some of it is just not having good food prepared and being in a rush. A part of it is the growing boredom I have with the food I'm eating. Protein, a veg and fruit can get old. I enjoy it and it makes me feel good but it still doesn't give me the pleasure of a burrito smothered in queso and a margarita. There are so many crazy dynamics to eating.


This weekend I decided to try a recipe for Green Thai Curry from Everyday Paleo. It was delicious...but I did have to add some extra fish sauce and coconut aminos. It isn't quite as flavorful as what I get from the Thai restaurant...it's a bit like making Mexican at home...good but not quite the same.


Regardless..this is quick, makes a huge pot and packs in tons of protein and veggies. I'm suspicious I'm retaining some fluid after the sodium hike..but c'est la vie.


Give it a try...and once you have the Thai ingredients, you can make it again for next to nothing.


Friday, April 8, 2011

Wall Ball....


Saving the world...one wall ball at a time!

Thursday, April 7, 2011

There's No Crying in Crossfit

I had a BIG baby move in Crossfit today. I have been there 9 months and have yet to try a pull-up - assisted or otherwise. We were waiting for my weight to drop. Try pulling up 255 pounds. Not an easy task. Wel, now that I am at 220 pounds, my trainer wanted to see if I could do it with a black band. No lie, I was excited. It felt like some sort of a vote of confidence that maybe, just maybe I had improved to the point of a pull up. Realistically, I think he's struggling with things for me to do with my whacked out back. So, where did the baby part come in? I finally got my foot in the band and I was scared to drop down off the box - to hang there before pulling up. I was on the low bar so I was MAYBE two feet from the ground. WHAT IN THE WORLD?! When I finally did it, it was no big deal. Oh, don't get me wrong, I could not pull myself back up...but it wasn't scary. Why was I scared? That, my friends, is the legacy of being fat and honestly something that I think holds a lot of heavy people back from trying new things. I have never been able to hoist myself up because I always weighed much more than my feeble body could carry. It is that moment of 'I am going to do something that is going to horribly embarass me and further highlight that I'm the fat kid here.' There is also the element of 'I am going to hurt myself because I am going to plummet to the ground like a lead balloon'. Crossfit is probably the first place that I have been given encouragement to overcome that mindset. My favorite moment was when I said I was scared and Jason said, "At least you aren't being shot at right now." Talk about perspective folks. I responded, "Frankly, that might help right now." I was thinking that if someone was shooting, no one would be paying attention to the fat girl about to fall off the pull up bar. Jason is honestly the first person who has understood that not being able to do something isn't just laziness. It is an actual issue of moving that amount of weight without the proper conditioning/preparation. I'm not sure my body will ever be able to pull up 220 pounds. I am going to need to lose more body weight while I simulataneously train my muscles. It will be a combination of the two that will get me there. I moved over to the rings and used some leg assistance to start the pull up motion. I had been doing ring pulls and I'm pretty sure that part of my back is STRONG. Now, I need to work on the part that is engaged in the pull up motion. It'll take work but I'll get there. It's just like the push up. I couldn't do a push up to save my life when I started (knees, no knees, anything) and I have been able to do three real push ups - man push ups. Anything is possible with perseverance!

Sunday, April 3, 2011

The Many Faces of Eggs


Eggs are still making my skin crawl. This had BETTER change. I eat a lot of eggs and I can't be grossed out by them indefinitely. This morning I thought that maybe hard boiled eggs would do the trick. They were MUCH easier to get down and may be my go-to egg until I feel 100%, again.


The question now becomes whether or not I am back to Crossfit in the morning. My energy level is still at about 65% but I'm not sure if it is that inactivity begets fatique or what. We'll see how I feel at 5:15 a.m.


Saturday, April 2, 2011

Hungry for Nuffin

Day 8 of this bug and still no appetite. I walked through the Farmer's Market and NOTHING caught my eye. Not a bread. Not a cookie. Not a cheese. Not a meat. Not a veggie. Not a fruit. Nothing. Yesterday I had Wendy's for lunch. Do you know that is the ONLY thing I have eaten that tasted good to me all week? Igggh. I refuse to live off fast food so I'm ignoring that it tasted good and moving back into the land of clean eating. I am hungry. Legitimately hungry. Nothing appeals to me. So, what do I eat? Healthy food. If nothing appeals to you, you might as well keep it healthy, right? At least that way your body is using the food to heal you. Breakfast today was 24 raw almonds and 1/2 a bottle of kefir. I bought it for the probiotics before I realized the antibiotic would be killing all bacteria..thereby completely eliminating the probiotic. Still, I had it in the house and thought it might be soothing. Not so much. Lunch was some beef brisket from Whole Foods, 1/2 of an organic red bell pepper, 1 banana and about 10 barbeque potato chips. I have some grassfed beef thawing for a hamburger for dinner. That actually does sound ok to me. We'll see how my stomach reacts. A couple of weeks ago I gained 8 pounds for no reason. I've lost those 8 plus 5 more. Who knows where I'll land. My hope is to make my goal of leaving the 200s before my 38th birthday. We'll see. I do miss Crossfit but the fact that I'm beyond exhausted from walking through the grocery store tells me that I'm not ready to head back quite yet. I hate missing it. I better not be losing muscle. Perhaps this time off will be what my back needs to completely heal. Perhaps this is the bug that solves all things!

Thursday, March 31, 2011

A Bug Tried to Kill Me


I kid you not. A flu, respiratory, I don't know WHAT THAT WAS, has had me down and OUT for over five days. While eating clean should have been a priority to get well, the thought of clean food made me want to hurl. So, I have spent the last five days eating bland carbs and butter. No lie. And I lost three pounds - sick pounds...pounds you always seem to find again. No matter. Despite still wanting to hurl these beautiful eggs, I am back on clean eating. Never give up. Winston Churchhill had it right - never, never, never give up!


You know what tastes the BEST on this plate? The red pepper. DELICIOUS. Not sure why. The eggs. Ugh. The raspberries. mmm..ok. Doable. I will eat it because I want to recover. Ugh.


Friday, March 25, 2011

Day 5 of semi-clean eating

Ok, the last two days have not been 100%...yesterday was 90%...today is going to come in about 50% but tomorow will be back at 100%.

Breakfast
3 eggs cooked in coconut oil
1/2 cup arugula
4-5 pieces of pineapple

Lunch (Seasons 52)
3 pieces of flatbread with artichoke, beets, goat cheese, etc.
3 tiny fish tacos - fish, guac, pico de gallo, salsa, chipolte mayo in little corn tortillas
1.5 tiny desserts - some chocolate pb thing and a bite of key lime and a bite of carrot cake

Dinner (out again)
Hoping for a salad and some good protein/veg - we'll see
thankfully, I'm not feeling great so no alcohol tonight - don't like to drink when I feel like I'm getting sick - compromises my immune system too much.

Day 4 of Clean Eating

What happened to Day 4, people?! I got my Crossfit workout in and I had the following to eat yesterday:

Breakfast
Protein shake - almond milk, whey protein powder, spinach, berries, and coconut oil.

Snack
1 beef jerkey stick

Lunch
2 cups spinach
1 cup arugula
6 ounces turkey
orange and yellow pepper
Drew's Dressing

Snack
Banana and 24 almonds

Dinner
2 Chicken Apple Sausages
1/2 cup of onion/red pepper sauteed in coconut oil
1/2 cup of mashed potatoes
8 Cadbury mini eggs - I'm about to get my period and couldn't take it - they made my heart race..

Sleepy time.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Day 3: Clean Eating


Yummy. Yummy.

Let's talk about a few quick ways to increase the YUM in your food without ruining your health. Eggs. They are seriously the most versatile food. They can be a base for a pizza, added to a burger, or tossed in a salad. They can be omelets, scrambled, fried, hard-boiled, poached, baked, soft-boiled and they taste different each of these ways. It is easy to get in a food rut and then hate healthy eating. SHAKE IT UP, PEOPLE!

One thing I do on Saturday or Sunday is sautee a bunch of veggies at once in some coconut oil. Cut up a bunch of onion and red/yellow/orange/green pepper and sautee it up. Store it in a glass container (don't get me started with plastic containers) and throw a little in the pan before you cook up your eggs in the morning. The big prep is DONE. I add in a little spinach and then put the eggs in and VOILA - what you see above. Season for your taste - I like salt, pepper, and garlic powder.....but anything would work. If you haven't had eggs in coconut oil, you are missing out!

I have to eat a really large breakfast or I am starving the rest of the day - especially on the days I Crossfit. I didn't Crossfit today and I only have two eggs there but that was enough - I wasn't super hungry and I know I'm going to have a good bit of protein for lunch.

So, here is today's plan:

Breakfast - see above

Lunch - last day of this one - used all my spinach and chicken
Rotisserie chicken
Spinach
Celery
1 slice of cheese
Brianna's dressing

Snack
Handfull of Pistachios

Dinner
This one is tricky. I didn't prepare anything and I have to help a friend out and will be out and about during my usual dinner hour. Will let you know where I end up.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Day 2



Breakfast
Breakfast is Served!!!! Yum, yum. Right there you will find 2 eggs cooked in coconut oil, organic celery, 1/2 a sweet potato diced and cooked with coconut oil and s/p and 2 turkey maple sausages. YUMMM!!! Coffee with coconut creamer
Lunch
4-6 ounces of rot. chicken
2 cups of spinach
1/2 avocado
celery
Brianna's dressing
small banana
Snack
24 raw almonds
Dinner
Chipolte salad
Greens
sauteed veggies
Chicken
Guacamole
Salsa
Workout
Crossfit
Warm up
WOD:
25 ring pulls
25 push ups
25 abmat sit ups
25 squats
400 M Run
4x for time - took me 38:13
Today, I did 3 real push ups for the first time!!!

Monday, March 21, 2011

Clean Eating Challenge: Day 1

Well, I have officially finished eating for the day. The sugar withdrawl is KICKING MY TAIL. No matter. I will survive. Instead of sitting at home pondering my sugar withdrawl, I have planned a walk with my neighbor. Oh yea. Kicking this transformation into HIGH GEAR.

Today went like this:

Wake-up
Crossfit at 5:45 a.m.
Warm-up, 5x5 on presses (max at 75...I can do more!) and modified WOD (for my back injury)
  • 10 shoulder presses (45 pounds)
  • 10 air squats
  • 20 sledge hammer swings (16 pounds)

AMRAP 20 minutes (9 rounds/2 reps)..my shoulders were SCREAMING!

Breakfast

Protein shake (8 ounces almond milk, 1 TBSP coconut oil, 4 strawberries, hand of spinach, 2 scoops of whey protein - blend that bad boy up)

Cup of coffee with coconut creamer (1 hour after shake)

Lunch

Salad - 2 cups of spinach, red pepper, 1/2 avocado, 4 ounces chicken, Brianna's dressing, 1/2 cup of pineapple

Snack

24 raw almonds

Dinner

2 eggs, 1 slice of cheese, 2 turkey maple sausages, raw red pepper slices, 1/2 cup of pineapple, 1 TBSP coconut oil

TONS OF WATER...fish oil, 2 DSF for adrenals, 2 Thyroid Support

Walking with neighbor, shower, bed...up for Crossfit again tomorrow!

Coming out of the dark...

After several months of stagnation, I am coming out of the dark. For real. Today I start a 30 day Paleo challenge. I should say 'Eating Clean' challenge because I'm not sure I'll be 100% Paleo.

I will enter my food here every day for the next 30 days. This will take me to Easter's doorstep - the day my parent's come. I will enjoy their visit for a weekend and then start the next 30 day challenge.

Every Winter I struggle with depression and a big break up took me down at the same time. I feel like a new woman today - ready to do this.

I need to get some pics. Will try!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Dang Curtis Ps


Ok, you can barely see me in this shot - I'm in the WAY back behind the girl in the black. I'm making great progress, right?! LOL! I never make the blog. I don't know if my pictures always come out horribly, Jason doesn't want to demoralize me, or he's trying to show fit people getting fitter...rather than fat people getting fit!
Regardless, there I am doing 100 Curtis Ps with a 35 pound barbell. I originally had 45 on there but knew that was not going to work for 100. So, 20 at 45 and 80 at 35 pounds...and let's not forget the other 60 pounds I'm carrying on my body. As I finished, I was suspicious it meant the end of walking as I knew it. I was right.
HOLY COW Curtis P. What is your problem?! Twice yesterday my quads seized up on me. I am walking like a 97 year old. I want the use of my legs back people. Please!
If you don't know what a Curtis P is...it's a hanging power clean, keep the bar at your shoulders and do a right lunge, then a left lunge, then push press it overhead. Repeat 100 times. Oh please legs, come back to me. I'll try not to be so stupid in the future.

The Scale

I honestly want to throw my scale in the ocean. It goes down four pounds, up three. I have HAD it. I know my body is changing - just not as quickly as I would like. Why, exactly, do I have a timeline? If this is truly a lifestyle change, why is there a timeline in mind? I didn't gain weight on a timeline. I just ate horribly and was inactive day in and day out. The weight followed. I am hoping the inverse is true.

I called a friend this morning to vent. She said, "Girl, you need to focus on the doing, not the results. Continue to make healthy choices and challenge your body physically and you will see results. It may not be something you see today or even next week - but you will in the long term."

It's true. I guess I have just heard so many horror stories of people doing the right things and gaining weight that I am paranoid to go one day without checking the scale. I was out of this mindset before I started Crossfit but victory on the scale brought me back under its spell.

I am not going to throw the scale out but I am going to limit myself to weighing once every couple of weeks. I know when I'm doing the right things and when I'm not. I just need to focus on the process and I need to enjoy it. Stressing out about it is raising my cortisol levels and making me feel insecure. So what if it takes me 3-4 years to take all the weight off. This isn't a diet, it's my life - and this is the way I choose to live long term. Thankfully, many of my friends live and eat the same way. Woo hoo!

So, no more hyper focus on the scale. Here we go.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Going Public

Ok, I am at a place where I think I am ready to go public with this blog. I finally feel like I'm on this and I am seeing results and I am ready to have other people join along. Nothing irritates me more than someone who writes a review for a diet book or exercise program on Amazon who hasn't actually done the diet. Knowledge is one thing - application is a totally different animal.

I humbly say that I am walking this out. As strong as I feel today, I could feel like a pea tomorrow. It's the ebb and flow of our physical life. Shoot, Crossfit shows me that daily. Some days you are firing on all cylinders and some days you can barely get out of the gate. Nurtition is a big piece of that. Why, if we know that is the key to looking and feeling good, is it so hard to stay on track with good nutrition? Why do I want ice cream and cake and candy so much when I know where that moment of enjoyment leads?

Yes, I know blowing this blog up will require pictures, meal plans, commenting and feedback...but I think I'm ready. The worst part is going to be having my weight out there. I'm pretty sure this will kill my chances of getting a date anytime soon! "Hi..this is my girlfriend...she weighs as much as a Steelers wide receiver." C'est la vie.

Here we go folks. Let's get this out there!

CrossFit Total

Today was Crossfit Total. Here are the results:

Backsquat: 135
Press: 85
Deadlift: 175
Total 395

I am happy with this because I had a virus earlier in the week that resulted in horrible body aches and then complete exhaustion and weakness. So, to come back and be above where I was last week - I'll take it!

My trainer sent around a chart from Crossfit. It was organized by bodyweight. If I went by what I weigh now - I still fall in the 'untrained' category. Jason said I should look at ideal bodyweight. Well, alrighty - I am intermediate. WOO HOO!

I am happy with this for right now. I expect it to get exponentially better. My diet is tight and when my diet is tight and I am there 4-5 times a week, I get crazy big strength gains.

Yeah Me!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Goals

I always hesitate when I consider setting physical goals. It seems that as soon as I set them, I end up going the opposite direction. There's a spiritual dynamic there. However, I am 3.5 months away from hitting one year at Crossfit. Ideally, I wanted to be down 50 pounds by my first anniversary. Right now, I'm at 27 pounds down. Can I lose 23 pounds by May 20th? That would require about 7 pounds a month - or 2 pounds a week. For those of you who have lost weight, who loses 2 pounds a week after 9 months on a program? No one.



It's a lunatic idea but I think I'm going to keep my eyes fixed on 50 pounds by May 20th. I honestly think I can do it. Logic tells me no. History tells me no. But something inside of me is telling me, "YES!" I will do it. I kind of want to set the bar even higher and go for the 100s before my 1st anniversary. Man, once I'm back in the 100s, I ain't never leavin'. Not for pregnancy. Not for ice cream. Not for love or money. Being a woman and weighing over 200 pounds is demoralizing.



I think I have found the right nutrition for my body. I have been off training this week because I got a semi-flu..aches, pains, snuffly, etc...but never the full blown mama jamma. I kept eating right and taking my supplements and now I'm better. During this time, I have tweaked my nutrition to remove all the hidden sugars I was consuming. Well, some were not so hidden - like the couple of pieces from the office candy dish or the party food at various shin digs or the honey in my coffee. Others were hidden. The extra sugar in some fruit. The swaps on the limited processed foods I do eat.



Since making the tweaks, I have dropped 5 pounds. (I had gone up to 231 again). Granted, I haven't been training so I haven't had the water retention from muscle recovery. That helps. Still, the scale would not budge before. Now it's moving - IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION!



So, you with me. 199 by May 20th? I say, "Why not?!" Shoot for the moon - if you miss it, you might reach the stars!

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Back Squat!

I have now been at Crossfit for 8 months. This is the rest of my life, folks. It isn't a flash in the pan. It is 'slow and steady wins the race'. To be fair, my results slowed because I loosened up my diet and training schedule too much. I still improved in performance and maintained my weight loss but I didn't propel forward like some people do. Although I could beat myself up, I choose to be proud of myself for staying connected.

Since January, I have recommitted to clean eating and workouts five days a week. I FEEL the difference. Today, I did a back squat of 115 lbs. To be fair, I have absolutely no idea if that's good or not. (Sorry, Jason). What I do know is that I spent 6 months trying to get full range of motion on my squats. It was the most frustrating thing in the world. I could not get down there to SAVE MY LIFE. So, when I hit 115 lbs today on a backsquat, I wanted to shout, "HALLELUJIAH!" Suddenly, things like pull ups and full push ups don't seem so far fetched.

I like to think that I'm the most blessed person at Crossfit East Cobb. I started with one foot in the grave. I know what it is like to not be able to perform physically. I know the embarassment of saying, "Really, this is all I can do." I know the pride of doing it even though shame tries to tell me to stay home. I can truly say to anyone, "You can do Crossfit." I am the object lesson - I don't have to point to the object lesson.

One day, I will reach my physical goals - maybe this year, maybe next year. I will hit 20% and below body fat. I will do pull-ups. I will run a mile and feel good. People will call me fit and I will believe them! Man, I will be filled with joy that day. However, the joy is not limited to that day. The joy is in the process. The joy is in hitting it the first time and every time after that...because I know what it's like to not be able to do it at all!

Wherever you are. Whoever you are. You can do this. You are the only thing stopping you. Go. Scale. Improve. LIVE!

Life Simplified

Something unusual happened when I joined Crossfit. My life was simplified. What was once a confusing maze of possiblities was narrowed down to one training philosophy. Do I think Crossfit is the only viable training methodology? No. For me, it has been one of the best and most efficient.

How Crossfit is more efficient:

I saved leisure time because I stopped looking at most health and fitness magazines and blogs. Most of them center around training I don't do or food I don't eat.

I saved time in the grocery store when I stopped shopping in the center aisles of the grocery store. There's nothing in there for me. Shopping the perimeter used to be so annoying because nothing 'good' lived there...now I love the food there and find myself saving tons of time on shopping.

I packed all my fitness time into one hour in the morning. Sometimes I go at night but it's much more efficient to go in the morning. I don't worry all day long about the WOD and I have evenings free to do whatever I want - and sometimes that is something physical.

Sure, Crossfit may seem overwhelming at first but it really does simplify your life. If only I could get a job where I wear workout clothes - that would take this simplification process to the next level!

Monday, January 17, 2011

Back In the Saddle, AGAIN!

The New Year came, I hit Crossfit four times and started to get my diet tightened up. Then came the snow. Four days at home. I did create my very own Crossfit at home...and got all hot and sweaty - but only did that twice - versus the four to five times I need each week. On top of that, my eating went downhill fast.

When it snows, you buy snack food. Why? Boredom. I loved being at home but being at home for four days with no options gave me a lot more time to think about eating junk. When I get the snack beast going, it's hard to beat it back down. Yesterday was the first day of saying ENOUGH! I ate Paleo all day, planned out my entire week of Paleo meals, went to the store, got my lunch and snacks ready, and set out my workout clothes. I hit the box hard this morning and my shoulders are SCREAMING! We're in a strength circuit...and boy did we take care of the shoulders this AM.

So much of this is mental. When I get in the mindset that a little slack doesn't matter, I end up slacking a lot...well, not at first...but in the long run. Now, I am focused on no slack for a few weeks while I get my head back in the game. I want to feel those WODs that you only get with good nutrition and consistency. I want to see bigger strength gains. I want to improve my times.

My performance goals are to always better myself. My vanity goals are to feel comfortable wearing shorts and tank tops this Summer. I haven't worn shorts in about 10 years. The HORROR! It isn't easy living without shorts in the HOT SOUTH! I went back to wearing tanks a few years ago - just decided I didn't care what my arms look like. This Spring/Summer, I want to be proud of my arms. It will be one year in May so I should have some fierce arms by then - if I STICK WITH THE STINKIN PALEO!

Here we go...more posting to come!

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Scared

I'm scared to go to Crossfit tomorrow. Jason makes it way too hard on Fridays. It scares me. I don't want to go. I will because my friend, Kristen, joined. She'll be there. I don't want to let her down, but I don't want to go. I just had to be honest about this. I don't want to go. I want to stay in bed and hide. I'll be happy I went..but that doesn't stop me from being scared right now.

Monday, January 3, 2011

I get knocked down....

So, yea....I got knocked down by the holidays and wasted two months. My trainer is right - nutrition is 80% of the battle. While I did not gain any weight over the holidays - something I attribute to the muscle I have gained at Crossfit, I did not lose any weight either.

Worse than that, I spent two months struggling to hit workouts. With bad nutrition, Crossfit was not joyful because I wasn't seeing improvement. What makes Crossfit addictive is seeing your body respond to proper nutrition and training. The human body has a powerful ability to progress when fueled and trained the right way. When one element is missing and progress halts, it's frustrating. It becomes just another workout program that you are slugging through.

On the bright side, I can say that I left 2010 25 pounds lighter and on the road to personal fitness. I made a GREAT start in 2010. I have made friends who are invested in my HEALTH at Crossfit. I learned to give myself a break - to not give up because I miss perfection. That has been the most amazing thing about Jason. When I have been down - stressed out personally and unable to commit the time and attention I need, he has encouraged me to keep going..not to be perfect but to stay in the game. I rode out the rocky patch because of his encouragement and now I'm back.

Because of Jason's encouragement, I didn't quit and lose all the gains I have made. I rode out the rocky parts and sustained. That means I can pick up and move on. I don't have to start over. I simply recommit and hit it hard. I find the joy, again.

That's life people...getting knocked down and getting up, again. My motto at Crossfit is, "The only way out is through". The only way I am getting out of a work out is by doing it. Giving up is not an option. I have committed another year to Crossfit. I sense this is a lifelong affair. This year, I look forward to truly morphing into the fit and active woman I have always felt lives on the inside.

Let your trainers know where you are. Let them train you. Let them walk you through the rough patches. Don't shut down or shut them out. They can truly be your best friends on your journey.

Keep on keeping on. And Jason, thanks!