Sunday, November 14, 2010

Diet

I don't care what anyone tells you - my trainer is right - diet is 80% of the weight loss/fitness equation. You can bust your butt in Crossfit every day of the week but you won't progress the way you will with the right diet.

For me, the diet has been the hardest part. Crossfit is a challenge but it's 1 hour and you are done. I see progress and I have a lot of cheerleaders in there. Eating is a different story. I don't binge anymore and I eat on target about 50% of the time right now...but the other 50 is killing me. How did I get here? Too much to do. Too little sleep. Stress. Anxiety. I'm sure a lot of you are there right now and are thinking, "This is all too much - give me a sandwich so I can be done with this meal" or "Let's just order a pizza, there is too much going on." Then, it becomes a horrible cycle.

The cycle happens inside your body. Your hormones go awry and you are fighting your own body chemistry. It starts to feel impossible. Thankfully, there is usually a point where my body shows me that the pain of eating bad far outstrips the momentary pain of ignoring my manic hormones to get back on plan. Last night was that night.

It was date night. We were at home and we decided to have pizza, salad, and a beer. Then we ran to Home Depot and I had a crazy ice cream craving. We stopped by Publix to pick some up. I'm usually ok with feeding these weird cravings because they come so rarely. Unfortunately, this one came after a couple of weeks of bad eating and my body was over it. We had dinner and watched a movie and then I had ice cream. I was immediately MISERABLE. Pain in my stomach. Tired. Gassy (yes, that's a great thing on date night). My boyfriend looked totally dejected because I didn't want to touch because I felt bad. Yes, I'm one of those horrible people that doesn't like people touching me when I'm sick.

That was IT! The ice cream and left over pizza were purged and I went to bed with the 'this is enough' feeling. I woke up feeling hung over but I had a great Paleo omelet with mushrooms, onions, and basil, a banana and a cup of tea with almond milk. After just one 'on target' meal, my body and mind feel clearer.

Back on track. Yes, it's the holidays. I don't care. I started this to be healthy, to not feel this way all the time - and one night of feeling that way tells me NO MORE! Here we go - back on it, people! If you've given up on the diet...suck it up and get back on it. Your body will thank you.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Say What?!

It is almost time to (oh goodness) go down another cup size in my bra. I mean, really?! Granted, I started at DD and love the idea of being a C cup...but I have a feeling it isn't going to stop there and I am going to have prunes for breasts. I'm just calling it like I see it. They still look good now but I seem to trade off and lose fat from my breasts then butt then back to breasts then back to butt. My weight loss seems to be very fair this time....

It really is crazy to look and see your body change. Every other weight loss has been about smaller size clothing or a number on the scale. This is about fitness, performance and health. It just amazes me me when I look down and I see my muscle definition starting to peek out. It's SO weird. I like it. I feel good but it isn't an arrogant thing..it's more like, "This is how life should feel."

Today, I am sore as all get out. SORE. SORE. SORE. I skipped Crossfit. With greater range of motion has come first day soreness. AGGGH! That's ok. I'll push through this and get there.

Alright peeps. Go get 'em. Share the changes when they happen because it's fun to celebrate.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Yummmmmy


This was dinner last night. Almond crusted chicken with avocado, baked applesauce and roasted asparagus. Completely paleo using almond flour. I was so satisfied at the end because it tasted REALLY good and was so filling. I have been into efficiency lately and that causes me to eat boring food...something that sets me up to eat crap later. You see, if my healthy food becomes monotoneous (same five flavors), eating clean seems undoable in the long term.
Here's the recipe:
Almond Chicken
1 egg beaten
1/2 cup of almond flour
salt, pepper, oregano, garlic powder, and basil (you decide the amounts)
chicken cutlets - yes, they even make the good kind this way
Prepare two bowls. One has the beaten egg in it. The other has your spices and almond flour mixed together. Heat a pan over medium heat. Add a teaspoon to tablespoon of coconut oil and let heat (use olive oil if that is what you have). As it heats, coat the chicken with egg and then the flour mixture. Make sure both sides are coated.
Cook about 4 minutes on each side - or until coating is golden brown. The chicken is thin enough that it should be cooked through. Plate it up with your favorite veg and fruit and add sliced avocado on top...eat a little avocado with each bite of chicken - YUMMY!
You can also turn this into a chicken parm recipe by serving it over spaghetti squash with marinara...oh wow! I may have to try that variation next time!
Mange!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

This Really Works

I don't have a full length mirror in my home. I have three mirrors total - one in the bathroom that you can see your head and shoulders, one in the bedroom where you can see from hips up, and one in my roommate's room where you can see head and shoulders. We have discovered that the front door works perfectly as a mirror. I check myself out as I exit the house. If something is horribly wrong, I'll go back in and fix it..but usually I'm fine with the outcome.

Today, I stopped, looked at my reflection and thought, "This Crossfit stuff really works. My body is changing."

There are changes I see in the head and shoulders mirror. My shoulders are more defined. I have killer biceps. My face is thinner. My collarbone is back. Today was the first day that I looked in the full length mirror and thought, "Wow. I am changing."

The novelty of Crossfit has worn off. That's good. It's no longer a new thing I'm doing. It's now what I do. Eating clean and Crossfitting are a part of my life. The changes have not been overnight but they have been consistent. I'm no longer staring at the scale or measuring every week. I'm just doing it and letting the results follow.

Here are some other things that have changed..slowly but surely:

1. I can walk hills and stairs without losing my breath.
2. I fit into an airline seat without flowing into the seat next to me.
3. My stamina has improved.
4. My shoes are too big - you know you are losing weight when your shoes are too big.
5. I want to meet my friends to do active things.
6. I prefer to eat in rather than eat out.
7. I prefer my healthy food to the unhealthy stuff I used to eat.
8. I get sad when I see soda and junk food commercials.
9. I don't get the headaches and body aches I lived with all the time...I am sore but not in pain like I used to be.

Crossfit really works. Keep at it. One day at a time.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Useless Without Pictures

I need a quick moment to vent about something on the Crossfit Message boards. I love the success stories. Everyone does. That's why you see them on every single fitness/diet/training site in the world. People love to know someone has done it and that success is motivating.

Pictures are fantastic with success stories. It is great to take a quick glance and see the success. However, reading stats are great, too. I love knowing someone lost 40 pounds in 6 months eating ABC and working out X times per week at Crossfit. That is motivating, too.

What irritates me are these bobos who comment on success stories with a 'this post is useless without pictures'. What?! Why? The part that is most annoying is 9 times out of 10, it is on a woman's post.

I am not some crazy feminist. I get that guys like to look at women's bodies. I get that these Crossfit guys are into super fit women and they get excited looking at their bodies. Whatever. What bugs me is that a success post is seen as worthless to these guys without a picture for some horny guy to oggle. What's worse are the horny guys who mistake the site for a porn site and comment on success pictures posted by girls in a sexual manner..like:
  • I'm saluting you
  • Good thing you can't see me below the waist
  • I'll spot your back squat anytime

Really?! Some girls love it and respond. Doesn't matter. Crossfit spends hours talking about how they are a serious sport and that you can take your shirt off in the box without feeling like it is a meat market. Why, then, are the message boards allowed to be filled with this type of crap?

I am a work in progress. I don't have a bikini or sports bra photo and I am not going to have one. When I hit my goal and am hitting Rx and am 80 pounds lighter (down 22 right now), I will post my success and sing Jason and his team's praises from the mountaintops. I probably won't post a picture though. For those who have seen me slog it out day in and day out...they know the post is not worthless - it is priceless. Sorry, just had to let that one out!

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Yo, where did you go?!

Wow...it has been almost one month since my last post. Whoa! Dating may not impact my Crossfitting but it does impact my blogging. Actually, work takes most of the blame. It is crazy everywhere - no personal or professional time to blog.

I am still Crossfitting. It is between 3 and 4 times a week. I found that 5 times a week was too much for me. 4 is the sweet spot for me. My weight loss has stalled. I have stayed at minus 20 pounds for the last month. I haven't gained but I haven't lost. I don't think it is because I am having crazy muscle gains. It is because I have loosened up on my diet - and yes, that is because of the boyfriend. I like to bake for him. I cook for us and I keep it fairly Paleo but always add in a grain or starch I wouldn't normally eat.

Here's the best part about today. I have been waiting for the right moment to bring up eating Paleo/Primal with my honey. I am not someone who goes around declaring diet advice. I have been humbled too many times to walk around pretending I know it all. I don't. What I know is that I feel better and my body looks better when I cut out the wheat/processed food/sugar products. Weight drops off. Eating well feels easy. My workouts are better. I get faster on the rower. I get stronger with my lifts. My hormones are balanced and I feel great.

However, I know that a diet change never comes because someone else tells you how great they feel. It has to come from a place that says "I don't want to feel bad anymore. I want to find a solution." My boyfriend does not have a weight problem. He's actually fit from years of manual labor. Still, he has a genetic predisposition for high blood pressure and he's on the verge of developing it. He's also a student now so he isn't doing the level of manual work he once was. He is feeling the changes.

Today, out of nowhere, he said, "I really want to stop eating wheat/dairy - I think I have sensitivites to both and I would feel better if I stop eating these things." I almost did a cheer. THANK YOU LORD! Yes!!! I said, "That is great because that is how I'm eating and I feel so much better." He said, "This is wonderful, we can eat this way together. It'll be fun."

You have no idea what a weight off this is. Now I need to spend time finding good recipes he will enjoy so he'll enjoy the food and see the difference quickly. I could eat eggs, raw nuts, and fish constantly with my veg and fruit but he needs a little more. This should be fun. Here's to going to the next level and hitting my next goal of 20 pounds down!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Food

I am super weird about food. I will LOVE a food and want to eat it all of the time and then I turn a corner and I don't want to look at it. I'm going through that with some of my food plan. I don't want the food that's on it. I'm trying to get creative but it's kind of bumming me out.

It's not that I want crap either. I've had three pints of coconut milk ice cream just waiting for a sweets craving. They haven't been touched. I made cookies for my man and I only ate one. No dough. Just one cookie. I didn't really even want it but I had to do quality control. I cannot feed my man sub par baked goods. Right?! LOL!

I am forcing myself to eat protein, veggies, and fruit (grapes taste super good right now). Sometimes, I'm allowing myself to eat what I want because I really don't want much. It is very strange for me. After years of food being such a crazy and controlling force in my life, it has no hold on me. I could take it or leave it. That's how I know I've gone through a heck of a lot of healing.

I had one moment this weekend when I started to power through a bowl of popcorn. It was sitting there after friends went home. I stopped and thought, "What am I doing? Something is off. What is off?" Within about 5 minutes I knew exactly what was wrong and I was able to address it without food. I just had to stop and connect with my feelings rather than numbing them with food.

All this to say that I am not 100% Paleo. I am about 80% and I'm not really worried about it. I feel really good about where I am with my food choices. I continue to train, my body continues to change, and the scale continues to drop. This is probably something that I will need to address at some point but I don't really feel the need to at this point. I feel at peace and it feels good.

If you have spent years battling food demons, please know that healing is available. There is light at the end of the tunnel. There can be a change. I know because I am living proof!

Monday, August 23, 2010

Effortless

As you know, I have been row, row, rowing my boat for about three months now. There are days, like today, when I hop on the rower and start rowing and it feels effortless. Well, not totally effortless but enjoyable effort. My times are getting squarely around 2:18-2:20...and it's getting easier to stay there. It won't be long until I'm close to 2:00. The physical improvements are crazy. It almost feels effortless...although it is far from effortless. I guess, again, it's enjoyable effort. Shoot, even burpees can feel ok when I'm able to hop back up without a lot of pain. Someday, I'll be the fool in the gym who is smiling throughout the WOD. It'll still be hard but it will never be as hard as when I toted 100 extra pounds around..that is for sure!

Everyday, it gets a little more doable. Wherever you are right now, don't give up. You will see results if you don't give up. Never Give up!

Friday, August 20, 2010

Holy Cow

Fridays have been kicking my BUTT! I can't even describe today's workout but I will tell you a Holy Cow moment. First, I hit TWENTY pounds gone today. Praise the Lord and pass my protein shake. There was one task on the board that I blogged about here. We had to drag a 90 pound sled around the parking lot.

Last time that was an 'AHA' moment. I had two other women with me and we could barely get it around the lot. That is when I realized the load my body was laboring under everyday. That cemented the whole thing in my heart and mind. This change IS happening. I am NOT giving up.

This morning, there it was but the goal was to have 2 women drag it around the lot. Say what!? I grabbed one of the girls I did it with the first time and off we went. It wasn't effortless but it wasn't super hard and there were TWO OF US! Do you want to talk about joy?

Sure, I see little things every day that make me happy I Crossfit. Smaller clothes. Tighter arms. Ease of movement Ingrained health choices. However, the moments that make you want to grab and bear hug your Crossfit trainer are the ones where you do something with relative ease that once was almost impossible.

Yea, come on. Today is a very good Crossfit day.

Monday, August 16, 2010

You Can Fall in Love and Crossfit

I feel like Will Farrell in Elf, "I'm in love, I'm in love and I don't care who knows it!" After a couple of false starts, the man of my dreams is here, locked-in, and we are IN LOVE.

You may be asking, "Why is she sharing her love life with us?" Because people keep saying to me, "Make sure you don't quit Crossfit."

Why are falling in love and Crossfitting mutually exclusive? I Crossfit early in the morning when he's not around. I do it for me. Why would I quit just because I'm in love? Shoot, if anything, the thought of getting married and someday being naked in front of someone makes me want to Crossfit 10x as hard. After all that waiting, you do not want the great unveiling to be a let down moment.

I guess there's a precedent of people gettting happy in relationships and quitting healthy habits. I do struggle with eating well around him. I would rather be with him than go to the store, prepare my food or even have the conversation about why I eat the way I do. I tend to not eat enough because we're focusing on each other and not meal time and then my training is suffering a little from it. However, I am not quitting..it is just going to take some adjustment time.

Dating, love, engagement, marriage, parenthood, whatever and Crossfit are not mutually exclusive. The work you do at Crossfit improves every area of life. It gives you the strength to push through can't to can.

One more note - don't plant that idea in other people's minds...instead of saying, "Are you going to keep Crossfitting?" ask, "Are you going to get your guy into Crossfit with you?" My answer is, "Yes, if we get married, this man will Crossfit."

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Constantly Sore

I feel my muscles all of the time. I am constantly sore. I have not slowly lowered myself to the toilet seat in 3 months. Yes, that was a visual you wanted. You know what I'm talking about - you literally fall down because you have lost your ability to stabilize yourself mid squat.



I feel new muscles in my body. I can FEEL the muscles in my arms. When the chub finally flees, they will be fierce. My legs, too. However, my body fat test said I had not gained a single pound of muscle. I have maintained my muscle. For reals?! The body fat guy said that was totally normal for people who need to lose a large amount of weight. In fact, he said most people lose muscle along with fat until they get close to their goal weight when they begin increasing muscle, again. I'm not sure I understand why that would happen. I need a really good resource to explain this all to me. I may go post a question to one of the boards.



The problem is that there are so many armchair quarterbacks out there. They are definitely fit people but their knowledge of anatomy and physiology is based on what people have told them and not scientific fact. I want to know WHAT is going on in my body specifically and WHAT I need to do to increase muscle while I lose the fat. You cannot tell me that fat people have to wait until they are thin people to grow muscle. Give me a stinkin' break.



Ok, as you can tell, I am not excited about this news. One day at a time.

Monday, August 9, 2010

How Did You Get Fat?

Do you ever wonder why fat people get fat? Yes, they eat too much. Do you ever wonder why they eat so much or so poorly? Some fat people don't eat outrageous amounts - just enough extra without movement. The reasons why people get fat are probably as varied as the people.

I know a lot of my 'triggers'. I know some of the things that drive me to carb rich, sugar and salt laden fare. Some are emotional and some are physiological. However, as I proceed on this new path, I am discovering even more triggers. I am posting this because most of us don't pursue fitness in a vacumn. We have lives. We experience triggers. If we don't recognize them, we will revert to auto-pilot and before long, we will be absent from Crossfit for months with a cookie hanging out of our mouths.

Lately, I have discovered how stress is a trigger for me. My plate quickly becomes too full, but I keep piling it high. My job is insane right now. I log-on at 7:30 a.m. and log-off at 10:30 p.m. I rarely stop. In addition, I want my friendships to continue to grow. That requires time, too. For me, the time available to socialize is usually around a meal (and you know how hard it is to eat well when you eat out). I am in a relationship with a man that I adore. He isn't overly demanding of my time but he is a high feeler - requiring a lot of emotional energy from me. I exercise four-six times a week - Crossfit and walking. Somewhere in there, I need to find time to run my life. Laundry. Groceries. Meal preparation. Cleaning. Bill payment.

I don't even have a family. I do not know how working moms do it. I really don't. What keeps getting ditched for me is eating. I either don't eat and get so hungry that I shove food in to get my blood sugar back up to a normal level OR I just eat what is around when meal time hits because I haven't had time to go to the store and I don't have time to hit it at meal time. That's been me these past five days. I just don't have time to get it all together so I have been eating whatever is around. It hasn't been good food. I need to get back on track but it feels overwhelming.

Amazingly, I am still losing. I suspect it is because I'm not eating enough. I am hungry a lot of the time. I just know I'm not being healthy and I don't like it. This is how I got fat. I just didn't make eating well a priority. It goes deeper though. I didn't establish boundaries. I am scared to say to work, "I can't work all these hours. You need to hire someone to help me." I am scared to say to my friends, "I can't hang out because I need to go home and get my meals set up."

I need to set these boundaries but they are scary boundaries to set. Until I do, my eating will suffer. Even as I write this, I think it's ridiculous to let my food push my boundary setting...but I suspect that is just the symptom that is identifying the bigger problem.

Well, people-pleasing and poor boundaries, those are my triggers right now that will keep me fat unless I deal with them.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Sludge

Today, I felt like my body was sludge. The workout was SO hard. Yesterday, great. Today, pain. The human body is so interesting.

I haven't been on the scale in a few days. It was stuck for a few days and I got frustrated and started eating crazy stuff so I have stayed off of it. You would think a stuck scale would make me eat right. Unfortunately, years of dieting and disordered thinking have created insanely illogical patterns in my mind. If I lose weight, I eat better. If I gain weight, I want to give up and eat what I want. Why should I eat well if I am going to stay the same or gain weight? I should just eat whatever I want. Surely you can see the breakdown of logic here, right?

I am going to stay off the scale until August 11th when I get my bodyfat tested, again. Oh how I hope I see some good numbers. I honestly don't see the changes. Other people say they do. I feel them in the gym. I have lost three pants sizes and one cup size on my bra. I can feel the muscle in my arms, but my arms just look pudgy - not a lot of fat has budged there. I am melting in really weird places. My wrists. My rib cage. My butt. This is the first time I have lost like this. Here's to hoping it hits the belly, arms, hips, and legs soon!

I feel like I have been doing this for years but it hasn't even been three months yet. I have to be patient. One day at a time.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Tiny Little Victories

I had a tiny little victory at Crossfit this morning. It was with military sit ups. When I joined in late May, I could barely do 10 abmat sit ups. Within a month, I was pretty solid on those (they aren't all that challenging - I was just super out of shape).

One day about six weeks in, the WOD called for military sit ups. I thought, "No problem, I am rocking the abmat sit ups." Holy cow was I wrong. I could barely get 2 or 3 out. I was laid back on the mat praying for the workout to be done or for my body to be teleported back home.

This morning's workout called for military sit ups. I thought, "Oh no. Here we go." When I landed on that floor and stuck my feet under those dumbbells, I was expecting to hit about five before I died. Much to my own surprise, I kept going...10, 15, 16. I stopped for a few seconds and then I finished my 25. It was challenging but nothing like it was 6 weeks ago. I did four rounds of 25 - 100 total. I definitely started to lose it in the middle of the third round but each time I was able to get out at least 10 before stopping. YES!!!!

It is the tiny little victories that keep me going back. I haven't been working on military situps but whatever else I have been working has prepared me for them. What a GREAT feeling.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

I get knocked down...

...but I get up, again. I was back on the deadlifts this morning. After 2 weeks of letting the ole' back heal, I was back at it....at a super light weight but still back at it.

One day at a time people. One day at a time.

I liked this morning's workout. I actually wish we had 15 minutes to do AMRAP. I almost did 3 rounds - I hate it when I almost get the next set out and miss it.

I wonder if our morning class would do better if we couldn't see the clock with AMRAPs. It seems that people stop when they realize they can't complete their set. I think it's valuable for the competitive sorts (and those who are more fit) to see the clock but we seem to give up too soon. I think a fun test would be to do the same workout two weeks in a row. One week let people see the clock and another week don't let people see it. I'd be interested to see how the results vary.

I try to remind myself that the only person I am cheating by stopping is me. I should work at maximum capacity the whole time for me. The hardest part for me is my breathing. My lungs feel like they will explode after I do the cardio components and then I need to rest for a second to get my air back. It is getting better but I look forward to the day I can get a few rounds in before I hit that sucking wind stage.

Another day, another WOD. Off I go to trounce the rest of the day.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Almost a perfect 10

There is a Circle K next to Crossfit and every blue moon I have to stop there to grab a bottle of water before my workout. I try to avoid it all costs because the clerk is a little too enamored with me. It isn't the flattering, sweet checker propreitor type of thing - it is the lusty "if my body is found in a ditch look for this guy" kind of thing. He makes comments and sighs in ways women just prefer not to hear. The very first time I stopped in, he said, "I see you over there working out." If you want to send chills up a girl's spine - lead with that kind of comment.

I haven't been to this store in about 8 weeks. However, I had to stop this morning. I prayed he wasn't there. He was. Sitting outside, blaring the music in his car, smoking a cigarette. I get out and he says, "Hey. You look like you have lost weight." I said, "Yea, thanks." I keep walking. No eye contact. He follows me in. With my back turned to him, he said, "Girlllll, ummm, you can really tell. You are almost a perfect 10 now." I said, "Wow, that's a huge statement. Have a good day." He follows me out, adjusts his pants in the way creepy guys do and stands at the door and watches me drive away. IGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!

While I would like to take a compliment well, that just made me want to beg Jason and Chris to move the gym as far from the Circle K as humanly possible. Icckk....

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Say What?

What are those power clean - squat, shrug, jump, squat..say what?! Listen, this girl has about 43% of her brain power firing at that hour - complex moves are HARD. I wonder if we look like fat camp to the night folks...we definitely have some hard workers but sometimes the energy level is just low in the morning...the wake-up cycle is not complete and we look sort of laggy.

Today was a hard day because it was a lot of moves using body weight. In case you haven't checked out my stats, I gots a lot of body weight. I did, however, do 5 girlie push ups the right way today. The rest were a highly modified version because my arms and chest still are not quite ready to support all of this. My burpees are getting better - I can jump back up into a squat position about 45% of the time. That's much better than what I am doing before.

One more day, people. This week has been a hard one. One more day.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Me Aching Hamstrings

The 4,000 (or so it seemed) good mornings or morning glories..whatever...they are FELT this good morning. Yowza! I am fairly sure my triceps are going to be immobile tomorrow morning. Today, we did:

5x5 Benchpress- I did 80lbs!
30 dips - I did them on the weight bench - I need to build up some tricep strength

THEN - AMRAP in 20 minutes
25 chest presses (15 pound barbells)
15 kettlebell swings (I did the lightest one - don't tell Dr. G - I don't think I was supposed to)
15 toes to head (I do them on the floor)
15 second L-sit - once again used the bench

I did 4 rounds.

It is strange how some things feel so much stronger and others don't seem to be gaining much strength. Hopefully this food plan will help build that muscle so everything strengthens.

Alrighty, time to hit the showers - I have 30 minutes to get ready. GO!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Food Glorious Food

I never thought I would look forward to someone giving me an eating program. They have always felt like death to me. It wasn't a lack of discipline. It was the mental anguish that went along with them. I couldn't bear the constant condemnation in my head that I wasn't doing it right. I was a failure. I would never be able to lose weight.

This is where the spiritual preceeded the physical. I learned that nothing, like food, defines me. Food goes into the body and comes out. It has no lasting value. Sure, maybe for the next 20 years but in general, the physical will decline. Ultimately, what goes into and comes out of my heart is what defines who I am and what I will become for eternity. From that place, I was able to walk into Crossfit and start training. From that place, I am able to receive an eating plan and follow it.

I started Paleo today. Real Paleo. I was doing it about 80% of the time before. Now I have accountability and a little piece of paper with all the facts and figures weighed out. I love it. I needed someone to figure it out for me. I can follow this with no problem. I feel free. It is the next step. Nutrition really is a big part of this program. It impacts training. It impacts appearance. It impacts mood. It does not, however, define me. If I make poor eating choices, I am not bad. If I make great eating choices, I am not good. Food is fuel and I am on a mission. I will properly fuel my body to fulfill my mission. Day after day after day.

I love food. Good, bad, and indifferent food. All of it. Still, I look forward to trying a different approach to eating it. I can't wait to share the results with you!

Thursday, July 22, 2010

It Will Never Be Easy

That's the whole point of Crossfit. It will never be easy. Sure, there are days when it feels easier than other days, but there are never the, "Oh, I'll just go and stroll on the treadmill for 20 minutes" days. A new guy (or at least new to me) was asking one of the exact questions I asked in the first week, "Will this ever get easier?" The trainer answered, "It will never be easy." I would have added, "It will never be easy, but you will eventually enjoy that it is never easy."

The mental conditioning at Crossfit is as transformational as the physical conditioning. You look at the WOD and you think, "Oh brother. There's no way I can do that one." I even hear people say, "What, are you crazy, I will only get one round out." However, when the clock starts, something kicks in and that same person does three rounds and they feel good. Really good. Beyond good, I would say. That is what makes Crossfit addictive. You are daily breaking through, "I can't do this." Then your thinking becomes, "Wow, I really can do hard things if I just try."

This whole makeover is never easy but it is enjoyable. I see the scale drop. I see my face change in pictures. I feel parts of my body shrinking. That's enjoyable, but it isn't the best part. The best part is that my mind is finally locked in. I am in the zone. I am going the distance. I am getting stronger day by day and the physical is just the beginning. It is the manifestation of the mental and spiritual strengthening that is happening below the surface.

I never understood people who were so passionate about this stuff. I respected them. I wanted a body like theirs. However, I never understood them. I thought they were dysfunctional. A little too locked in. Now I get it. That is how I know I am going the distance. I don't want it to be easy. I look forward to trying and triumphing hard things. They hurt. I sweat. My heart feels like it might explode out of my chest. Broccoli is no piece of cake. Regardless, nothing feels better than making hard decisions, pushing yourself to the limits and coming through it stronger.

Today, I am thankful that it is never easy.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

I done injured myself

I was brought down by a poorly executed deadlift. We were doing 5x5 this morning and I was fine but was encouraged to tweak it a little. Good coaching. Bad execution on the coaching. I was already feeling super tight on the left side of my body. Everything I did felt off on that side. I had a deep tissue massage on vacation and it may be related.

Regardless, I came up on a deadlift and immediately felt a spasm in my lower back. I did not want to be dramatic but I also knew that I should stop. I laid on the ground and tried to stretch it out. One of the trainers gave me a ball to roll on the spot. That helped and I made it through the Workout of the Day. The bad part was when I got home. I couldn't stand up. It loosened up as I got ready but my whole back was tight as I tried to stand up straight. Pain again when I arrived at work.

I have taken tons of anti-inflammatories. I hate taking them but I need the area to CALM DOWN. I plan to try a new chiropractor tomorrow. Perhaps he will help. You know your life has changed when the first thing you think is, "I can't be injured, I need to be at Crossfit." Before, I would look at it as an opportunity to give up. No way. Crossfit is changing my body one workout at a time and I need to be there every morning.

I am definitely going to be much more cautious. When I feel tightness like that on a side of my body, I am going to take the time to stretch and loosen my muscles before I lift. The warm up wasn't enough today.

I am praying for supernatural intervention to heal this back so I can continue on this path right now.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Thriving Through Vacation

Visiting family on vacation is fraught with peril. Food minefields are everywhere. There is always TONS of food with my family. It is shocking that I am the only one with a weight problem. Regardless, food is the center of everything.

The visit went well - tons of love and fun. The best part is that I navigated these waters fairly unscathed. I stayed on plan about 75% of the trip. I did not feel bad about the other 25%. The only exercise I did was running after my 2 year old nephew, playing soccer with my 9 year old nephew, and a quick 20 minute walk on a treadmill. I am ready to get back to Crossfit. I feel great though - I enjoyed myself without unraveling all of this hard work.

Back at it, people. Happy new week.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Oh me gersh

I have found an interesting dynamic. There are some people at Crossfit who sort of scare you. There is no way you would do a sit up near them when they are holding a kettlebell or get too close when overhead bar moves are in process. Something just isn't clicking and they are in a mini fog. Not sure if that's how they approach life or if it is just too early in the morning for some folks.

I may be one of these people but I am going to feign ignorance here. Sometimes, I honestly can't process what the trainers are telling me. A big reason is that it is so early in the morning and my brain is still in bed. A smaller reason is that this is a first step into weight training for me. I have no idea what these moves are or how much I should do. I didn't even know I should remember what weight I was lifting until about three weeks ago. I do, however, like to think I am safe to be around.

Anyway. I ended up in the wrong bench press group. I knew it when it happened. Instead of doing the exercise the right way, they wanted to start at their heaviest and go up. I honestly don't think they understood what we were doing. Then, they kept getting the weights off. They walked off when they should have been spotting. I really was a little afraid this morning. I was feeling the bar to the trachea.

I got up after my last set and looked Kelly (another girl there who started at the same time as me) in the eye and said, "Do not ever leave me alone with them, again." She laughed. I laughed. My trachea is still in tact. Thank the Lord!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Um, yea, so...

Perhaps I should not have invited my guy for a walk...three weeks later and waa-waa-waa. C'est la vie people. It is a good thing.

Thankfully, I am heading to New York for a weekend of relaxation..massage, manicure, and pedicure scheduled....when I return, I am going to do a 30 day Paleo challenge. No cheatin'. No excuses. Let's shed some of this fat so we can see some of the muscles underneath (and complete even more torture).

Movin' on.

Tuesday...ugh

Today was all about squats, lunges, deadlifts, etc...iggh. Not my favs. C'est la vie.

I think I did about 100 on my deadlifts. Oh yea.

Funny thing, there is always someone in there who still doesn't have the form down but wants to fight for their right to lift more weight. I honestly don't get it. I pray these things on my way to Crossfit every morning:

1. Please protect everyone from injury
2. Please don't let me die there
3. Give Jason and Tuan wisdom in training us
4. Help me understand and nail the form

Sure, I am excited when I get to lift more weight but not because I earn some sort of value from it. I like it because I know the proper form, nutrition, and consistency are working! Someday I will be flexible enough to do lunges and squats with weight...but not today. My form is there but my flexibility and strength are not. They will get there. They will.

For the first time today, I was able to go down in a burpee and jump into a squat position to come up. Not every time...but about 75% of the time. I can't wait to really be able to do burpees..even though I hate them. Hate them. Hate them.

By the way, why do I blog? No one is really reading this, right?! One day, I will reach my weight loss goals and I will be nailing WODs and I will look physically fit. Someone will ask how I did it and I'll tell them. They will say, "I could never do that...too hard." I will point them to this blog and say, "Start at the beginning. It's one day at a time, one meal at a time, one movement at a time. If you don't start, you will never make it. Just start. Just start. If you don't think it can be done, look at my blog and remember that it can."

Monday, July 12, 2010

Excuse me, sir..have you seen my lungs?

ahhhh...Crossfit today. Holy cow.

We did overhead presses 5x5 (I got up to 55 - woo hoo - had no idea I could do that much yet) and then:

10 suppine ring pulls
10 tricep push ups (others did a variation..muscle up, pull ups, etc)
THEN the following (5x for time)
10 overhead presses
10 kettlebells (I did Rx weight on this - touch that, people)
10 slam balls (I did 8 - I should have done 12)
15 abmat sit ups (others did GHD)
Sprint 100 ft (or yards - I always get those confused)

I did 21:47....

You start out and you think, "Wow, I can do this..here we go..." AND THEN YOU HIT THE FIRST SPRINT....bye, bye lungs. I was SHOCKED at how great my body felt running...no pain, almost effortless...I have definitely gained some major strength/muscle stamina these past two months. My lungs were another story. I thought they would burst in my chest. I was wheezing..oh holy cow.

That's when Crossfit kills me. I'm wheezing, purple-faced and most people would stop and say, "Ok, great workout..." NOPE...we keep going...4 more times...by the 5th time, I am just thinking, "You have come this far...you have to finish it out."

I am still not running 95% of the time...to save my joints. I row ALOT. Row, row, row your boat..gently down Crossfit. Jason told me to get under 2:30...and I am doing that consistently now. I was so proud and instead of saying, "Great, you are under 2:30!"..he said, "Get it under 2 now." LOL. I just love that guy. "Sure, no problem - new goal..keep going." After feeling my lungs when running today, I need to push the rowing a bit harder....that's a different kind of lung feel..more like your legs are compressing your lungs.

Alrighty, full day ahead...off to the showers!

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Eating Out


This is the wonderful deliciousness I enjoy when eating out. Excuse the goat cheese...but it was less than an ounce and thoroughly enjoyed. When I was done eating, all that was left was the turkey burger bun.
Ahhh....nice.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Coconut Oil

No idea how it works but coconut oil is the miracle oil. Love it, love it, love it. When I use it, the scale drops. When I don't, it doesn't. It keeps me from getting man hands - you know, those ugly callouses. I want to be hand holdin'...and I don't care how hard core you are....soft hands are nice on a woman.

Coconut oil..try it.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Meet My Team























Encouragement. We all need it. I am blessed to have it in abudance. Meet MY life team. There are so many more people on my team than I had time to upload...but you get the point. These are the people who ask me how my workouts went. They agree to eat in instead of out. They change the food they serve or are happy to eat what I serve that fits 'the plan'. They are constantly telling me how great I look, how far I've come, and that I can't give up now. They know my heart's desire is to have a family and that I need to be healthy to really love and serve my family well.
The little ones just love me. Period. They want their 'aunt b' to be around for years to come. They want me to play with them. They want to climb on me. They want to swim, jump, and run by my side...not have them fetch me a toy so I can continue sitting in my chair.
This is my team. They may not be hard core fitness freaks. They are people who love me and want the best for me. You have a team, too. Crossfit is not just about you. It is about all those who are connected to you. It is about being the best to love and serve them well.
The greatest outcome so far has been how everyone has started to respond to my changes by making healthy changes in their lives. Good stuff, I tell you. I love my team.


Thursday, July 8, 2010

Some days you just GOT to do it...

Got up. Got dressed. Got in the car. Got to Crossfit. Got on the rowing machine. Got through the warm up. Got through bench presses. Got through 6 AMRAPS of presses, step ups and sit ups. Got through 10 Turkish get ups (even though the mat I was laying on smelled like vomit). Got in the car. Got home. Got in the shower. Got on the computer. Got on Blogger. Got to this post.

Somedays, you just GOT to do it. Doesn't matter how you feel or what you want when your bed feels better than the box. You just GOT to do it. It's easier than feeling the regret of not doing it all day long.

Got to go to work. Got to say bye now.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Burpees

I hate you, burpees. That's all I have to say this morning. I hate you, burpees.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

When The Going Gets Tough....








...the tough get to cookin'.




There's No Crying at Crossfit

A dear friend passed away yesterday. Talk about devastating. Grief is such a weird thing. One minute, I am fine. I think through her life and her assurance of salvation and I am fine. The next minute, the thought of her breaks my heart into a million little pieces.

I wanted to stay in bed this morning. There is something about the familiar that is comforting in times of sorrow. However, I knew I had to keep going. The moment Jason started sharing the WOD, I felt the tears coming. How crazy would he have thought I was if I burst out in tears at that moment? The hilarity of that alone kept me from breaking down. My workout definitely suffered as the sorrow washed over me time and time, again.

Life is fragile people. It can be over in an instant. Make the most of it.

WOD:
25 (I did 15) pullups (I did suppine ring pulls)
25 military sit ups - holy cow those are hard
400 M run with medicine ball overhead (wasn't a lot of running out there today)
Repeat 4 x for time - I think I was around 41 minutes - I didn't really care - it was enough that I was there.

Tomorrow is another day!

Monday, July 5, 2010

Crossfit is Closed?!




Yes, even Crossfitters need a holiday! However, I am off the charts proud of myself for waking up, putting on those exercise clothes and hitting the pavement for a close to 3 mile walk. It is a gorgeous morning. Talk about reviving the soul - 75 degrees, the sun is shining, the wind is blowing, the streets are quiet - nothing finer.

The last few days have been challenging on a nutrition level. So many parties. I am right back on track this morning and looking forward to preparing for a week of excellent nutrition.

Get out there and seize the day people (or sit on the couch and vegetate if you've already seized too much!)

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Envy

There were a lot of new folks at Crossfit this morning. I love it. I so want everyone to give it a try. A couple of the new girls were tall and slender. I was envious. They will start to see amazing results in about four weeks - you will be able to tell they do Crossfit. I, on the other hand, have a million miles to go before it is evident. Stupid pudge.

I made-up one of the workouts of the day this morning - I thought I was going to take it easy on my super sore legs. Not so much.

10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1
Bench Press (50 pounds)
Sumo high deadlift (is that it?) (50 pounds)
Deadlift (65 pounds)

Thursday, July 1, 2010

The Cost of Crossfit

Crossfit is expensive. It isn't the monthly fee that is expensive. $150 is an investment each month, but I definitely get what I pay for - quality training. It isn't the food that is expensive. If you cut back on eating out and don't consume a whole 16 ounce steak in a sitting, you probably break even. Shoot, longterm, you probably come out ahead. Why, then, is Crossfit expensive?

If you do it...and do it consistently...you have to buy new clothes every 6 weeks. From bras to workout clothes to underwear. When you shrink, your clothes have to shrink, too. That is the kind of expensive I can handle. Granted, I buy clothes at super cheap places because I know I am only wearing them for 6-8 weeks. When I hit my goal weight, you better believe I am going to splurge. I must start saving now. So far, I have bought new bras and new workout clothes - one size smaller. Yahoo!

Today's workout was the following:

Row 800 Meters (as fast as humanly possible) - I sucked wind here - first I was on a rower with the foot straps in the wrong places (finally figured out why I had such horrible blisters) so I moved to find the other one was left on a hill - leaning to the right. Have you ever tried to row on a leaning machine? Not fun. I had to get off, move it and start over. agggh.

50 box jumps (I did step ups)
15 ring pull ups (others did pull ups)

10 supine ring pulls
10 toes to the head - I did reverse sit ups (not sure what you call those)
30 sledge hammers
100 meter broad jumps (I jumped today..woo hoo)
Row 1000 meters somewhere in there...(I didn't get to it..not enough rowers)

AMRAP - I did 3 but I don't feel accomplished because I didn't get in the 1,000 meters. Oh well, life goes on..I did get a good workout. Moving on! Almost at the 3 day weekend! wahoo.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

My Heart Hurts

Why am I writing all this 'feeling' stuff on my Crossfit journey? Isn't it all about being a tough warrior? For some, sure. For me, it is about reclaiming my life from the clutches of a really nasty eating disorder. There are so many facets to this and a lot of them are mental and emotional. If you don't deal with the internal stuff, the external stuff won't stick - or if it does, it will occupy your heart, mind, and soul in ways it was never meant to do.

My heart hurts today because a dear friend is dying. The cancer is back and it is everywhere. It is devastating to watch a friend slowly slip away while losing her vision, speech, hearing. My heart hurts. Historically, when my heart hurts, I have soothed it by eating. I want to eat that heart cookie. I want to feel the sugar rush through my veins and I want to feel it soothe me. I do not want to feel these emotions. I want to numb them. I want to distance myself from them. I want to forget them...to replace them with other thoughts - of remorse, regret, or guilt.

It has been minute by minute today. Deep breaths. Water. Prayer. Life comes at you hard and fast. To feel the joy, I must feel the pain. I must face and embrace this sorrow - sometimes one minute at a time. My heart hurts today and that's ok. It should.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Gonna Workout Like It's My Birthday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! I love it when kids sing the Happy Birthday song to themselves. Life is a big ole' gift. We should celebrate it - all of it - the good, the bad, the indifferent....because each day is a gift and a chance to receive God's amazing grace and mercy. Nothing finer.

I did hit Crossfit today. Why wouldn't I? I want to celebrate my life the right way! I finished today's workout in honor of my 37th birthday at 18:37. Here's what we did today:

3x 25 pound overhead presses - 12/10/10

WOD
Overhead carry for 40 M (25 pound plate)
30 wall balls (8 pound)
Farmer's Carry (uneven load carrying) (30lb/20lb)
5 reps for time - 18:37

Now, my belly finally rumbleth for food....yesterday I had no appetite from a migraine and a weekend of fatty starches. Back to the omelettes people.

Oh Happy Day - life is good.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Progress

Last night I invited my guy for a walk. It was a big step for me. I usually prefer to walk alone or with my girlfriends. There is a part of me that doesn't want him to see my weakness - all out of shape, sweaty, and suffering from cotton mouth. It doesn't really bother me at Crossfit because the people there know I have goals and that I am improving (and they are all spent, too). I don't know, there is something really personal about letting a guy into this part of my life.

He honestly could care less. He loved going on a walk with me. He was sweating. I was sweating. It was 100 degrees. Everyone was sweating. We walked and talked and it was no big deal. I felt like that one walk brought down more walls than hours spent other ways.

That is part of the mental process I am going through. I know I want to live an active lifestyle but I have to break through self-limiting thoughts. So manyof them echo back to the embarassment of never measuring up physically - in sports, appearance-wise, etc. If you get enough negative feedback (real or perceived), you eventually start to limit doing those things. Unfortunately, you build your own prison at that point. You don't get to fully experience or enjoy life.

I did a lot of mental, emotional, and spiritual work before I joined Crossfit...but now Crossfit is helping me to improve in all of these areas plus the physical. I could never have anticipated how much it would help.

I am very thankful right now.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Craving

FINALLY, I am craving quality protein (we can debate on whether lobster is quality or not later), veggies, fruits, and high quality fats. I don't want the junk anymore. Who is this person? What did you do with Her Royal Chubbiness?

Last night, we went for barbeque and I got baked beans thinking it was the lesser of the evils. Um, pain. Horrible pain. Well, there go legumes. One food at a time.

Soon, I start working with Jason on nutrition. Not sure how I feel about that one. I like to eat more primal than paleo...maybe we can come to a compromise (although everytime we try to come to a compromise, I end up doing it his way..hmmm).

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Deer Park That's Good Water

Call me camel. I need water. Lots of water. (ok, I know that was a flawed analogy because camels don't need water..that's the point of them being in the desert - the way they store water). Anyway, I need even more water now that I Crossfit. You know when I need water the most? After I have eaten out. Why? BECAUSE THEIR FOOD IS LOADED WITH SALT. All I can taste is salt. This girl does not need any additional bloating, people.

Like I said before, my nephew is in town. His Mom is a fantastic, Italian cook. He wants to eat out. Southern food. Lots of Southern food. This is probably the only chance I will have to spend alone with him, again. Soon he's off to college. Life. Marriage. Children. I am not going to say, "Mark, can we just eat in or have a protein shake?" So, I have to ammend what I wrote yesterday. There are times that others will choose my restaurants and I will go along with it because it's the exception to the rule.

I am making the best choices (minus one HOT Krispy Kreme donut and a small glass of milk) and am drinking gallons of water. Maybe I can con him into a walk later....I'll need to spin a tale of a southern landmark...hmmm...

Where's my water bottle?

Friday, June 25, 2010

Regret

Last night I went out with a friend for dinner and she picked the restaurant. It was a meat and three kind of place. The meats were battered and fried and vegetables were mac and cheese and the like. I am not 100% sure why I thought that chicken and dumplings was the best choice, but I did. I got a small bowl and a piece of cornbread.

First of all, the cornbread tasted rancid. I was SOO hungry (had gone 6 hours without eating - too busy at work to get my snack in) so I ate it. Why oh why? Then, I had the chicken and dumplings - and I regretted it all night into this morning. For the first time in over a month, I had acid reflux, gas, nausea, etc. WHAT was that?!

I am eating a lot of good fats...so maybe it was the bad fat...or maybe the flour. Regardless, the experience will move me to pipe up on restaurant choices in the future...or to better prepare ahead of time so I can limit what I eat there. It isn't about being strict, it's about feeling well. I didn't enjoy my evening because I felt so bad. I feel better when I eat Paleo/Primal. Feeling good is a great thing!

My performance in the gym this morning was awful. I convinced myself that all I had to do was the warm up. I was so tired and weighed down by that meal. I did the warm up and then did bench presses, supine ring pulls, kettle bells and dumbbell bench presses. I am happy I went. That was five days this week! Way to go, me! (I'll take it where I can get it)

My 17 year-old nephew is coming into town this weekend...can't wait...not sure why he wants to hang out with his aunt all weekend..but sure am happy he does!

Thursday, June 24, 2010

My Crossfit Motto

Just because I cannot do everything does not mean I should not do anything. (Helen Keller)

Hitting a goal

I have officially lost 10 pounds. I know my stats say 9.8 pounds but I estimated 253 - I am fairly sure I was even higher. So, today I celebrate 10 pounds down!

Jason says not to focus on the scale because there is a lot of muscle/fat exchange. The true story will be told on my next body fat assessment. Still, do a little happy dance for me today. I now have only 90 pounds to lose. Actually, maybe less because of the amount of lean muscle the body fat test said I had. I think 70-80 pounds now would put me in a great place. Regardless, it is one day at a time, one meal at a time, one workout at a time. One foot in front of the other.

That is what I am learning. Meeting your goals is making the right decision in the moment. Eventually, the right decisions add up to big accomplishments. This is true pretty much anywhere. If you consistently make the right decisions at work, you will eventually meet your career goals. If you consistently make the right decisions in relationships, you will eventually have fulfilling, loving relationships. If you consistently make the right decisions financially, you will eventually have a strong financial portfolio. If you consistently make the right decisions spiritually, you will have love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control.

Sure, things come along - the tsunamis of life. They blow us off course and we are devastated, but the quickest course to recovery is going back to making the right decisions in the moment. Day in and day out. Day in and day out. The right decisions. Not the 'feels good in the moment' decisions. Not the 'easy way out' decisions. The right, hard, sometimes gut-wrenching, pride-swallowing, selfless (and even sometimes selfish) decisions. Day in and day out.

This is just the beginning folks. Just the beginning! Glad you are along for the ride. Is there a place in your life where you could make a different decision today to better your future? Give it a try.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

HAWT and Healthy


Today's WOD:

Row 1,000 meters
150 Abmat sit ups (others could do 100 GHD)
150 Sledge Hammer Swings (8 lbs for moi)
250 Rowing (200 double unders or 1000 single unders for others) (I did this 3 times)
FOR TIME - My time: 41.14...

The girl who barely made it through the warm up five weeks ago and four weeks ago could barely do 4 sledge hammer swings did the warm up plus the above. REALLY?! My lower back tells the story of those sit ups.

I got home from work today and got the new issue of Health magazine. Christina Hendricks (Mad Men sexy redhead) is on the cover. That is my idea of beauty. Soft, curvy and gorgeous. I want to be fit, but I want curves. I was excited that they featured her as hot and healthy. Nice. I admire the HARD body girls at the gym. They look HAWT, too....but I feel best a little fleshy and hourglass. Doesn't mean I can't be fit at the same time, right?

Granted, I have a LONG way to go before I have to think about that fine tuning. However, it's good to see a picture of where I want to be someday. Keeps me focused on the end game. Love it!

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

I'm Shrinking...

My weight loss starts from the head down. I will look like a scarecrow to my waist and still have the same ole' monster hips. Agggh! I have one loss to report that I will only report on this blog (and to my girlfriends in real life). I have lost one cup size in my chest. Of course I would, they are all fat...but I wasn't expecting it to happen so quickly. I had to buy all new bras.

I like my curves - I don't want to be flat. Here's to hoping this trend stops after another cup and my butt gets the rest of the love.

Well people, results are results!

Mise en Place


When I get home from Crossfit, I am HUNGRY. I have dinner at 6 and then I workout at 6. Ok, I do have five raw almonds before I workout. Otherwise, I feel SICK when I finish. Trial and error. I burn those almonds in the warm up.

I need time to cool off before jumping in the shower so I get everything prepped for breakfast. It also prevents me from saying, "Oh, I don't have time, I'll just grab something at work." It's all there - ready to go when I am ready.

I love omelets. Today's choice is baby bella mushroom and onion with a sprinkling of basil. Delicious and on plan. I also had a cup of tea. I am off coffee but still need one cup of something warm in the morning. I'm so deprived, right ; )

Today's workout will have to be posted once I see it online. I am horrible at remembering the names of these moves.

Happy Tuesday, folks!

Monday, June 21, 2010

Random Wounds

I love how everyone in this picture has a laser-like focus on the task at hand. In this moment, I am rowing - there is nothing else I am thinking about - just the rowing.

I randomly wound myself everyday at Crossfit. These aren't warrior fitness wounds. They are pathetic 'my shoes suck' and 'I hit myself with a kettleball' wounds. More pain has been brought on by my stupid shoes than anything else. I tried Chuck Taylors but they rub my feet raw on top when I row...not sure why.

My knees are constantly bruised from burpees. You may ask how one bruises their knees while doing burpees. It happens when you repeatedly have to get up using your knees because you aren't strong enough to jump back up yet. (but I'm getting closer)

I also have a ripped area on my thumb from burpees...the stupid mats are torn up in spots and my hand always finds that particular spot.

These are wounds I can handle. Thankfully, Jason works hard to keep me from truly injuring myself by watching form.

By the way, I promise I own more than that blue top - I just haven't had a chance to buy better workout wear yet. BUY THE SWEAT WICKING KIND - TRUST ME.

Supportive Friends

I honestly have the best friends in the world. My birthday is next week and that comes with a lot of celebrating in my group. There are multiple lunches and dinners. However, my friends all know how serious I am about my goals. I am in this to win this. There are two reasons I don't want to go off the rails this birthday. They are:

1. The workouts feel so much harder when you eat junk
2. I am just now starting to see changes, I do NOT want to go backwards.

With this in mind, my friends have been really creative. One came over Saturday morning and made me an omelet and a salad I have been dying to try. Delicious lunch, great conversation, and I stayed on track. My two best friends have suggested getting together to cook dinner instead of our usual Mexican. I sense a 'Green Egg' steak is in my future.

The one birthday meal I will have that is off plan is Taqueria del Sol and a few bites of cake from A Piece of Cake. They are my two favorites and I will have them once and move on.

Today's WOD was called "7" in honor of 7 fallen CIA agents while on duty in Afgahnistan:

7 overhead presses with dumbbells (I used 15 pound bells) - others did handstand pu
7 Thrusters (25 lbs for me)
7 Abmat sit-ups (others did heels to head)
7 Deadlifts (70 lbs for me)
7 Burpees (I am going to get these things)
7 Kettlebell swings
7 Supine ring pulls (others did pull ups)

I did 4 rounds in 30 minutes - you were supposed to do 7...not sure anyone did. I like knowing why a workout was created - when I was tempted to give up, I would remember those who lost their lives for our freedom - my freedom to do this - and then I would say a prayer for their families - that God would provide for all of their needs according to His riches.

Monday is on...let's do this!

Friday, June 18, 2010

My Favorite Part of the Day

My very favorite part of the day is the ride home from Crossfit. I roll the windows down, turn the music up and enjoy the feeling of accomplishment - all done by 7:00 a.m.

Friday Fun

I stopped myself from being unintentionally yet highly inappropriate this morning. We had to do 15 Wall Balls with leather medicine balls. The exercise itself is bearable. The thing that puts me over the edge is how wet and sweaty the balls get - just drenched with everyone's sweat. So, I am approaching the wall when I see that the balls are particulary bad and I ALMOST SCREAMED (get this), "I AM SO SICK OF ALL OF THESE SWEATY BALLS!"

Thankfully, I caught myself right as the first word was about to come out. Not really something I want to scream in a room of sweaty men.

Today, we did tons of burpees, kettlebells, wall balls, and sit ups. I'm fairly sure that general movement will slow down tomorrow.

Here's to the weekend!
Bethany

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Perspective

It is so easy to get bogged down by the superficial things in life and to lose sight of what really matters. Then, in an instant, your perspective shifts. The 'thing' that seemed so important a moment before holds no weight whatsoever. Think 9-11. Think of the day the Space Shuttle exploded. Think of the day someone near to you died suddenly. Think of the day you were diagnosed. Think of the day she/he left. Think fo the day day you met him/her. Think of the day your children/grandchildren were born.

What does this have to do with Crossfit? More than anything, I think this whole program has to be kept in perspective. Why are you doing Crossfit? What is your ultimate goal? Is it all about you or is there a bigger goal? It feels great to hit those performance metrics and to lose those inches, but is that enough?

My mind wanders a lot to our military, our law-enforcement officers, and our firemen when I Crossfit. For them, Crossfit is about getting fit but the goal is so much larger. Their strength, their stamina, and their agility are being used to protect others -- US. Whether they realize it or not, this training is ultimately for someone else. That may not be their perspective right now, but in an instant it will become clear. When they carry a person from a burning building. When they are in the line of fire and must drag a wounded brother or sister from the field. When they are apprehending a suspect. When they are part of a search and rescue team.

I do Crossfit so I can give more to others. I want to be thinner. I want to be better looking. I want to be stronger. But most of all, I want to get outside of myself. I don't want to be trapped or limited by my body. I want to live for others--to help them, and to love them. So, the days I want to quit, I remember that it isn't about me. It's about that moment when I realize I can go the extra mile for someone else because of what I do in that gym every morning.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

"MAX"

Today's workout was in honor of Jason's old dog, Max- who went on to greener pastures at the age of 15. I hope he wasn't pulling my chain on this one. Regardless, we did 15 of every exercise.

WOD - AMRAP for 30 minutes
15 Supine ring pulls (others did pull-ups)
15 Thrusters (25 pounds)
15 Bench presses (others did push-ups)
15 Kettle Bells (10 kg - I think)
15 Burpees (we are not friends)

I did 3 rounds - the last round was for Max.

By the way, what were those grunting noises coming out of me when I was swinging those kettle bells? So unnecessary...but just came from my core. I had to throw those things up with my hips because my arms stopped functioning in the last round.

Here's to two days down, three to go!

Monday, June 14, 2010

"I Don't Sweat"

I want to invite my friends who boast, "Oh, I just don't sweat" to do Crossfit. Granted, I 'glow' with the slightest exertion...but no one leaves Crossfit Soft n Dri. I leave purple-faced and soaked. Everyone else, soaked.

I was a little too free this weekend with my eating. At first, I worried about it because I would not lose weight as quickly...but this morning something else became clear. Training is HARDER when you are eating Krisy Kreme donuts. It wasn't like I pigged out all weekend..but I had more carbs and sugar..and I felt it today. Eating for performance - that's a curious thing.

Today we did the following work out - I did it with no modifications (well, the Turkish get-up thing got cut short cuz I had to go. However, the core workout was this:

AMRAP (as many reps as possible)
5 Clean jerk ups ..something
10 Wall Balls
15 Ball Slams (I likey these but boy do they get my heart rate up)

In 20 minutes, I did it 6 times!

Then we did Turkish get ups - I suppose this is a miliatry move because it looks like you could get up and shoot someone with this move - but who knows.

Well, I wrote this in hopes that I would stop sweating but I have not - I have an early meeting so I will just have to deal with it and go get ready.

Happy Monday, people. Make it count.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Crossfit=Laundry Piles

Yesterday I came home from Crossfit and this is what I found:

First of all, I NEVER leave drawers open...this is a sign of complete fatique for me. Second, there are no clothes in my drawers. Why? They are all a sweaty pile in my laundry room after a week of workouts. I have never done so much laundry in my life. It's like I'm raising a toddler. Crossfit=sweating through your clothes=laundry piles. Therefore, Crossfit=laundry piles.

Today, I am thankful for rest days. This, my friends is what a rest day looks like at my house (well, after grocery shopping and three loads of laundry):


Ahhhhh....I feel a nap coming on.




Friday, June 11, 2010

Hell ya...

You know what I love? Sweaty forearms. Random, I know...but I feel like I have REALLY worked it when my forearms get sweaty.

Anyway, I am gaining strength quickly. Hell ya! I could barely do five sledge hammer swings 2 weeks ago and today I did 60...SAY WHAT?! Granted, I am still working on perfect form - love that OCD Jason who always points out room for improvement. Still, the form was on most of the time (except when he watches me).

I really want full range of motion on my squats. My weight coupled with my flexibility (and lack of strength) have prevented me from getting full range. My goal is to get there SOON! I am going to practice in front of a mirror. I don't want to have huge quads and that's it by staying too shallow.

Workout of the Day (WOD)
20 squats (weighted back squats for the others)
20 box step-ups (jumps for the others)
20 suppine ring pullups (I did those)
20 sledge hammers on tires (I did those, too)
row for 500m - everyone else ran...I row, row, rowed my boat.
Do three times in 30 minutes.

GUESS WHAT?! I did three times in 30:46. HELL YA! I don't care if you warriors shrug and say, "It was modified - you should have done better"...I nailed it for me...I have come so far in three weeks and I love it. That is what keeps me going. Take that away from me and it becomes about being like someone else..and that ain't my goal...my goal is to be the best me and today I felt like I was!

Tonight I have a night out with friends and tomorrow...get this....RESSSSSTTTTTTT! Wahooo.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Getting Out of Bed

The hardest part of going to Crossfit in the early morning is getting out of bed. Once the feet hit the floor and I splash some water on my face, it's on.

I have done four days straight. Today was a little bit of a breather -a strengthening day. That's good because last night I walked for 40 minutes with a friend and tonight I have an hour walk pushing a stroller. I needed to let up a little. I tell you what--I look forward to Saturday this week! The great thing is I feel so good about rest days because I worked hard during the week.

WOD
10x2 bench presses (45 pounds)
Then
30 bench presses (50 pounds) (the rest did 50)
50 chest presses (instead of pushups)
30 close hand pushups (to get the triceps) - the rest did 50 dips
2 rope climbs (um, yea, I didn't even try it)

Tonight, I get my body fat tested. I can tell you right now that it's 2. 2 much.

Today, I weighed and I lost .2 pounds. Yea...that's not really what you want after a week of busting your butt...but I know I am doing everything right so I'm not worried. Time will tell.

Alrighty, folks, get out there and seize the day.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

From Toxic to Tired

I ended up with a migraine yesterday. I guess I felt toxic for a reason! C'est la vie. The pain, bad, but the fatique is what really gets me. I always want to stay in bed the whole next day. Unfortunately, that does not work for me. So, I got up and went to Crossfit this morning. I had to force my body to move but move it did!

Today, we added deadlifts to the warm-up. Oh deadlifts. I have such a hard time with the form. Let's face it - I am just not coordinated. To coordinate my legs, arms, head, neck, back and breathing while lifting is a feat. Right now I am trying to learn the right form and am then counting on muscle memory to kick in as I continue to override my inadequacies.

It dawned on me this morning - I am actually doing the Workouts of the Day. Modified but not a whole different workout. Here was today's WOD (my style):

5 Burpees (I did a much better job of falling on the ground this time)
10 Deadlifts (30 weight plus bar - I think that's 75 - not sure)
15 Ab-mat sit-ups
20 box step ups (others did double-unders)
At some point we had to row 1,000 meters. SAY WHAT?!

AMRAP 30 - I did 4 reps and YES I rowed 1,000 meters.

WAHOO! I had to push to get the fourth round out today but boy did I push it out. LOL! Ok, I have to get up and get ready. The fatique plus the work-out have made moving a chore...but I have a 9:00 meeting. Agggh.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Toxic

I feel toxic this morning and I am blown up like a tick. My pants are TIGHT. I know my body is changing and this is just part of the process but holy cow. I want to feel GREAT. This morning's workout was all about the upper body. I think. I am never 100% sure what we are targeting. I am pretty sure it was a strengthening day. How's that for good Crossfit information? Shoot, if you want good information, this ain't your site. If you want motivation, come on back.

Workout
Shoulder/overhead press
5/5/3/1/1/1 - 15 minutes 1 rep at maximum weight

Apparently, I was trying to find my max weight that I could only do one of and then I was going to do my WOD with 60% of that weight. Who knew? My max weight was 40 pounds. My 60% was 25 pounds. The WOD was AMRAP (as many reps as possible) in 20 minutes:

10 pull-ups (I did ring pull-ups)
20 shoulder presses at 25 pounds
30 kettle bell swings (I did the second up from the lightest - not sure on weight)
100 m bear crawl

I did 2 rounds in 20 minutes.

You know what got me? The stupid bear crawl. Why was that bear crawl so hard? Jason said I could step down to 50M but I had already done 100M once and I was determined to finish 2 full rounds. You see, there is something about me you should know. I will say, "No" if I honestly can't do something. I'll try and then say no. However, if I can do it but it is hard, I will keep trying until I finish or you tell me to stop. That last 50m of bear crawl was mental. I didn't want to do it. It wasn't that I couldn't. I just didn't want to do it. You know what, "TOO BAD. Do it anyway." I finished it - with my new friend, Kelly, cheering me on. Thanks Kelly!

There are so many parallels with what happens in and out of the gym. I don't want to feel toxic today. I want to go eat some sugar, ice cream, and pasta and stop working out so I don't feel toxic anymore. I won't though because I know this toxic feeling is the step before I feel great. Eating junk feels good in the moment but I feel much worse in the long term. I don't want to feel toxic today but I am not going to give up because I know I can do it. When my body screams to stop, I will say, "Too bad. We are going to do it anyway....because we can."

Monday, June 7, 2010

Progress


Today's WOD was (my modified version):

100M Walking Lunges (no weight for me, others used overhead weight)
10 Modified Burpees (um, this was basically me falling on the ground and getting back up)
10 Toes to bar (for me, this was reverse sit-ups)
10 Tire Flips
250M Rowing
AMRAP 30 minutes

Since Crossfit only counts completed rounds, I did 2 rounds. I actually did 2.50 rounds in 30 minutes. I'm just proud I kept going.

This is the third week and I am seeing progress:

1. I have been doing chest presses rather than push ups for warm-ups (not strong enough yet and my knees kill from the extra weight on knee push ups). I have been warming up with 12 pounds - super light this morning so I bumped up to 15. I know that's no big deal but it totally pointed out that I'm gaining strength.

2. I am no longer scared of the rowing machine. I can actually row and then stand up and walk.

3. My range of motion is improving on my squat. I can get much lower and keep my balance.

4. My diet is super clean and I feel great. It took me about this long to clean it up but am looking forward to the improvements moving forward from the combination of clean eating and Crossfit.

I hope I can make it five times this week!

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Sunday: Perfect for a Walk

I need to take walks with Crossfit. They help to loosen up my muscles and give me a chance to burn a few extra calories on an off day. Yesterday, I had to rest all day. I needed a day with no physical activity - well, nothing but cleaning. I am ready for tomorrow.

I need to start documenting my work-outs here..but they are so hodge-podge right now that I'm not sure how much sense they will make to anyone. I'll figure it out.

Looking forward to the new week.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Delicious and Paleo-o-o

Last weekend I visited my family and we had lobsta. YUMMM. My Mom made a couple of dips and one was delicious and Paleo friendly. I decided to make it as a salad instead of a dip, but you could use it as a dip and serve it with tortilla chips (not Paleo, sad) or on any kind of sliced veggie that is strong enough to double as a chip.

This came from Lindy Leigh on Tasty Kitchen. Just like to give credit where credit is due!

********************

Fresh Cucumber and Shrimp Salsa

Start with 1 pound of cocktail size shrimp (called salad shrimp avail in freezer section) - thaw, drain, pat dry and place in a bowl.

Dice and add to bowl:
1 whole English cucumber
3 whole firm roma tomatoes
2 whole jalapenos (do not forget to seed them and wash your hands after)
2 whole avocados

Chop and add to bowl:
1/2 cup of cilantro

Measure and add to bowl:
1/4 teaspoon cumin
1/4 teaspooon oregano
1 teaspoon salt (or to taste) - I used less because the shrimp is fairly salty
Juice of one lime

Mix it really well. Refrigerate for one hour. Serve as suggested above.

NOTE: Just in case you don't know, avocado browns quickly once cut. Here's a little trick. Put the avocado in right before you pour in the lime juice. Coat the avocado well with the lime juice and toss. The lime will slow the browning process. You can also toss your two avocado pits in the bowl - they also help prevent browning, too (keep that in your files for future use - it's a free tip!)

I cut the recipe in half and just ate a third of it for lunch . Delicious!

Friday, June 4, 2010

A 90 Pound Revelation

When you gain weight, you do it gradually - one taco at a time. Sure, there were crisis moments when I gained 20 pounds quickly, but most of it was a pound here and a pound there. Before I knew it, I was 100-110 pounds overweight. The process is so incremental that you don't realize how much work your body is doing. If you work in an office, your life is so sedentary that you don't move enough to know how difficult it is.

There were only three ladies at Crossfit this morning. We had to (as a team) drag a 90 pound sled for 250 meters. It was HARD. There were so many stops and starts. It took us a long time and a lot of hard work but we got it around the parking lot. It dawned on me half-way around, "Bethany, this is what your body is working against every day. It takes three women all of their effort to move this weight across the parking lot." No wonder obesity leads to so many debilitating diseases. My organs, joints, muscles, and bones are straining every single day the same way we did around that parking lot.

Crossfit is hard. Really hard. I can't do 98% of what they do in there, but day in and day out, I drag a 90 pound weight around my life. Changing my life is worth it. Who wants to carry the Crossfit sled everywhere they go? Also, I will never look at an overweight person (including myself) working on their fitness in the same way, again. It is a helluva hard task to drag that weight into the gym and to at least try the things other people are doing. I am looking forward to the day I can drop the weight off the moment I drop the rope to that sled.

Good Cop/Bad Cop

I encountered the type of trainer I was hoping I could avoid at Crossfit. The guy who is slightly annoyed at your lack of fitness who covers it with a smirk. He's there. I wouldn't be honest if I didn't share that here. He pushed me. Some of it was good. Some of it was not.

I got a little confused because my other trainer told me to stop running until I take off more weight. This trainer thought that was absurd and wanted me to run anyway. I respected him and ran as much as I could. However, I will ask for clarification.

Part of his style I respect. I honestly tend to think I can't do things physically and then I do it and am surprised I can. I like it when people push me. I like to push myself. There were times today that I really enjoyed him not backing down. Other times, I felt my form was really off and I was doing things that could have led to an injury.

Today felt like Good Cop/Bad Cop. Thank you, bad cop - I am ready for good cop to come back. I can see bad cop being beneficial in bursts but I truly feel like I am going to be in the best shape and become the strongest working with the good cop. Regardless of which cop shows up, I am going to be there...

Thursday, June 3, 2010

The Board

I love the white board at Crossfit. Whoever came up with that concept is a genius. Well, at least for me. When I am done working out, I don't really care what the board says because I am sweating and my blood is surging through my well-worked muscles. However, I pop on the daily blog and there I see how everyone did that day. These people are rock stars. I was WIPED after this work-out - purple faced, sucking wind - and some of these folks did three times as much as I did WITHOUT modifications. If that doesn't inspire you, I don't know what will.

RX means they did it just as prescribed. See, it is about half and half. Half do it as prescribed and others are working their way to that fitness level.

Who knew a whiteboard could be such a powerful fitness tool?